STUTTER

Chapter 8

At school the next day, I skipped my first class due to being late. I spent it drinking at the house. By second period, I skipped again and drunkenly walked the halls, looking for an ounce of motivation to even pretend to learn.

I heard music coming from the choir room and stopped for a moment, peeking through the crack of the door.

Around thirty students were singing a song I didn't recognize but what I was really focused on was Scott at the front of the room. He was sat at a piano, his fingers moving gently against the keys and never missing a single note.

I heard the bell ring not long after, but even after everyone left he chose to remain at the piano, his hands resting on the legs but not playing anything at all. I watched as the teacher bent down to him and grabbed one of his hands.

"My classroom is always open to you if you want to talk or just play. Are you staying after school again today?"

"Yes sir."

"Do you ever plan to tell me why?"

"I'll get there. Just not today." He mumbled softly, taking a deep breath. "Can I play for a little longer?"

"Of course." The teacher stood up and headed for the door, nearly flinching when he saw me. "Oh. I think someone wants to talk to you, Scott."

"Hm?" Scott stood up and looked over at me, smiling brightly when he realized who I was. "Keiji!" He ran at me and wrapped his arms around my shoulders before I could object. "I didn't see you this morning, where were you?"

"I was just late so I ditched first. I didn't even realize we had such a good choir class."

"Why thank you." The teacher smiled at me.

"Oh shit- wait- I mean- sorry! You're not gonna get me in trouble for cutting class, are you?"

"Depends. You got a lighter in that bag of yours?"

"No! Of course I don't-" he raised his eyebrows suspiciously at me, to which I rolled my eyes and pulled a lighter out of my back pocket. "Here."

"I'll return it to you later."

He left us alone, closing the door behind him. Scott sat back at the piano and sighed softly. "He's a cool guy."

"So are you."

He smiled. "How kind of you."

Pressing a few keys on the piano, he formed a rather sad but quiet melody that filled the room. I sat beside him. "What is this?"

I watched his face twist, clearly saddened by the sounds he was playing. "It was my moms favorite song. She asked me to play it all the time."

"I didn't even know you played. Do you sing too?"

"Sometimes."

"What's the song called?"

"I can't remember. But I know what it sounds like and I guess that's all that really matters to me." He pulled his hands back from the keys and pulled his brows close. He owned his mouth to say something before he just closed it and slammed his fingers back down to the keys, playing much louder and more distressed this time. The notes blended together to create a sound that I could only describe as desperate and heartbreaking.

I quickly grabbed both of his hands. "Hey... it's okay."

He turned to me and let his head hit my shoulder.

I knew what he felt like. I knew what it felt to have someone missing that you really thought you couldn't live without. To have a hole in your chest where that person used to be.

He yanked his hands from my own and clutched tightly to my shirt, nearly digging his nails into the skin beneath. When I realized he was shaking, my expression softened and I wrapped my arms around his waist. "Do you want to talk about it?"

He furiously shook his head and sniffled a bit. "No I just want it to go away."

"Well guess what, that won't happen." I pulled one arm back and lifted his chin so that I could see his face. When he tried to hide it in my shoulder again, I grabbed his  head with both hands and forced him to look at me. "You can't just make it go away."

"Why?"

His voice was weak. And with tears streaming down his face, I wanted to make him feel better. I hated seeing him like this now and I never wanted to see him like this again. "Because it just doesn't work."

"It's funny." He wiped his eyes with the sleeves of his jacket. "I keep telling myself that I can do it but every time I leave this piano, I swear it's like everything around me gets dark. My thoughts just blend together and my brain gets mushy- my body feels fuzzy and I can't do anything but try not to cry."

When I heard him say that and saw the way he was looking at me, my arms wrapped around him so fast that his breath caught in his throat. I think I squeezed him too hard but I didn't care at the time.

"H-hey...you're crushing me-"

"It seems like I'm not the only one." I loosened my grip. "Will you come over again today? I don't want you to be by yourself."

"But...youre walking Mai home, aren't you?"

"And you're staying late, aren't you? I can pick you up when you're ready."

He pushed me back from him and cocked his head. "Uh...this might be rude but are you drunk right now?"

"I may have drank a little." I looked off to the side. "I'm waiting until I'm not seeing double to go to class."

"Moron." He sighed. "Here, I have water."