STUTTER

Chapter 9

Scott's POV

My father called me to come home as soon as school ended, so I didn't get to stay late. Hesitantly, I walked inside and looked around the living room.

My house is rather empty due to moving here recently. Boxes that we didn't care to unpack were stacked up in a corner, only a couch and TV sitting in the front room. We had a dining table but never used it since I always ate in my room.

"Dad?"

We don't have any photos on the walls and no decorations either. All we've got in the kitchen is a stack of paper plates and the kind of food you just shove in the microwave. It never really satisfies me since I prefer to cook meals. Sometimes when I've worked up enough money, I'll go grocery shopping and cook something for dinner.

My feelings towards my father are mixed. I'm torn between hatred, fear, guilt, and sympathy. I want to hate him, but his wife is dead so I can't blame him for the things he does when he's upset. I'm afraid of him, that's for sure. I also feel guilty that I make him so upset all the time because I look like my mother.

Then again, even when Mom was alive he was pretty violent. Whenever they got in fights, he'd break thinks but he never laid a hand on her. I know he loved her a lot.

I've never been to a doctor so I'm not really sure what's wrong with me. All I know is that when he yells at me, my brain gets blurry and all I am is confused because I can't understand a word. It's like that every time I get scared. My world becomes nothing but confusion and fear.

I walked into my room, finding my dad holding a notebook in his hand. "What's this?"

"Uh....a notebook?" I asked, bending my head to the side. "Is there something wrong with it?"

I'm used to him going through my things, so I tend to keep anything I have to hide on me at all times. "Yes. This page right here." He held it out to me, showing a photo I had drawn of Keiji. I had also drawn hearts around it. "What is this?"

"Um...." I started to fidget, nervous. "It's a drawing."

"Of what exactly?"

"My friend."

"You jackin' off to boys now?" He threw the notebook down, which made me flinch.

"I-I- no! I don't even-"

"Son if you're into boys now you better spit it out." He glared holes through my skull, making my legs weak at the knees. I took a step back when he took one forward.

"I'm not-"

"Then what is that?!" He raised his voice and fear consumed me, his face becoming a blur of anger. He continued to yell but I didn't comprehend it so I held my hands up gently and quickly stammered out a response.

"C-can you just give me a second to- to process what you're-"

More yelling that I didn't understand, which just made me frustrated. "I-...I can't do this." I scoffed. "I'm leaving." I headed for the door, my breath catching my my throat when he grabbed my wrist and jerked my body back. I nearly hit the ground but he quickly let go and took hold of my shoulders, shoving me down against the bed. He sat on top of me, pinning me down by my wrists. "Get off!"

"Would you just hold still?"

"I want to leave!" My words come out in a strained scream as panic took hold of my body. I struggled against him, tears pricking my eyes when I discovered that I couldn't escape. "Get off! Get off of me!"

"You're not going anywhere!"

"I can't breathe- get off!" My breath sped up, my lungs feeling as if I wasn't getting enough air.