STUTTER

Chapter 11

I walked through the shop with a basket in my hand, grabbing strawberries as well as tea and anything we had run out of back home.

By the time I got back home, Scott was awake and sitting with his knees to his chest. He stared at the floor with a rather sad look on his face.

Mai stood up when she saw me. "You're back. Good. I need to head home since it's late. Will you two be okay?"

"We'll be fine." Scott watched her head out the door once she was sure he'd be okay. Once the door shut and I put groceries away, I sat beside him and leaned my head against his shoulder. "I'm sorry that I have to stay here."

"Yeah, me too." I gently grabbed his hand and laced my fingers between his own, tracing my thumb back and forth against his index finger. "You have nothing to be sorry for."

"My chest is tight and I can't feel my fingers." He squeezed my hand. "I want to cry."

"You can cry if you need to."

"My throat hurts bad enough already and my face is so hot from crying that I can't feel it. I don't need to cry anymore."

"Scott, it's okay if you need to keep crying."

"He used to tell me bedtime stories and sing with me while we cooked in the kitchen but now it's like I can't say a word to him without being wrong....I miss my dad, Man."

"Everyone reacts differently to a loss."

"He loved her so much that he forgot he loved me too." He looked up at the ceiling so he wouldn't cry. "He used to hug me and even fall asleep on the couch with me while we watched cartoons. And I-....I'm too scared to even get close to him."

He hadn't just lost his mom. He'd lost his dad too.

I held onto his arm and kissed his shoulder before laying my head against it again. "Do you still love him?"

"I don't even know him."

I didn't know my parents, but I couldn't imagine losing my sister. "Come here." I stood up and pulled him to his feet. "I want to show you something."

I led him to my room and grabbed a children's book that was sitting on my bedside table. "What's that?"

"The book I got from the orphanage. We all called the woman who took care of us Mom. And this is all I have left of her. She was like family to me so when I left the orphanage, I brought it with me."

"Have you read it?"

"I....I can't." I handed it to him and watched him flip through the cardboard pages. He didn't understand the Japanese lettering but he seemed satisfied with the pictures. "I'll read it again one day but I'm not ready to remember it yet."

He put 80's music on the radio after setting the book down. "I wonder what it's like at an orphanage."

"The kids are pretty nice. At least they were to me. It's like having a bunch of siblings."

We both laid down facing each other after I turned the light off. I could see his face in the moonlight that shone through the window, but the bruises on his neck stood out like a sore thumb even in the dark.

"Do you still like Mai?"

"Why are you asking me that?"

"You weren't blushing when she came over today."

"....I don't."

"And why's that?"

"I'm more interested in you." I pushed the hair out of his eyes and slid my fingers down his jawline. "You're not at all what I expected you to be."

"Is that bad?"

"No." My fingers traced over the bruise around his neck. "I expected you to be a flirty, cocky, self centered guy."

"I'm flirty, but I'm not cocky or self centered."

"That's fair." I sighed.

"What can I say? I like beautiful people." He grabbed my waist with both hands and pulled out hips together with a laugh.

"I wouldn't say I'm beautiful."

"You're smart too. And an amazing artist."

"Enough with the compliments. I hate that sappy shit." I rolled my eyes, flinching when one of his hands left my hip and slid under the edge of my shirt, two fingers wrapping under the belt of my jeans and tugging at them a bit.

"You're smiling. I know you like the attention."

"I don't."

"Now you're blushing."

"Shut up! I swear you're like a dog in heat!"