Eucalyptus & Honey |H.S.|

Chapter 36 - Wasn't Ready for it All

Harry is hiding something.

Ever since we had woken up the second time this morning, he was acting off.

Even when he fucked me against the wall of the shower this morning, it felt like he was being more careful than usual. Softer. He kept asking me to tell him I loved him, and of course I did, but it had caught me off guard.

He had been acting so playful just before that, and then it seemed as though he suddenly needed the vulnerability of that moment. He needed me to remind him that I loved him, and that was when I knew something was wrong.

He was usually pretty confident about the way I felt about him, except for those moments when he would say some bullshit about how he didn't deserve me, and that I was too good for him. And those were his low moments. So, his behavior confused me.

And when I tried to ask if something was bothering him, or if he was feeling okay, he simply brushed it off with a shrug and said he was fine. That I had nothing to worry about. And I knew, without a doubt, that was a lie. And it only confirmed to me that he was hiding something, because why else lie?

I just didn't know what he was lying about. Maybe he was feeling nervous about his performance on SNL last night? Or maybe, he was feeling particularly vulnerable with the way we had fucked last night as well? Or—and this was my least favorite option—maybe it had something to do with Marc? But he hadn't gotten any calls from him, so I didn't think that could be it.

Since our shower this morning, Harry had practically been glued to my hip. I mean, we always were pretty clingy with one another, but it was even more than usual. We had gotten breakfast with Mitch, Sarah, and Margot this morning—Ny, and Charlotte had been too hungover to join—and he had pretty much exclusively spoken to me during the whole meal.

He was hardly ever quiet around Mitch and Sarah, especially Mitch, so it really confused me. And it wasn't like he was in a bad mood. He just seemed quieter than usual, only mumbling small comments into my ear every once in a while.

I was pretty sure Mitch noticed, but he didn't comment on it. Maybe he would talk to him about it individually later.

Harry also wouldn't let go of my hand. Like, all day. I literally had to eat my breakfast with my left hand, which was not an easy task. Thankfully, I had ordered vegan pancakes, which was a fairly easy meal to eat one handed.

We were now currently at the Neue Galerie, quietly roaming through Gustav Klimt's works. My sweaty hand was still gripped firmly in Harry's but he didn't seem to mind the sweat. I didn't really mind it either if it was making him feel better.

Charlotte, Ny, and Jeff had joined us after breakfast, so now all eight of us were exploring the gallery. Harry and I were the only ones in our group that I could actually see at the moment in this section of the gallery. I had noticed a few of Harry's fans spot us, but I was grateful that none of them had approached us, only because I hated the idea of Harry feeling like he had to force himself to be in a good mood all the time for them.

No one was ever in a good mode all the time, and I think he had a hard time not putting pressure on himself for that. And that pressure was the last thing he needed right now. Even though I didn't know what was bothering him, I knew that if he couldn't even bring himself to have a full conversation with Mitch and Sarah, he didn't have the energy for fans right now either.

Harry had taken advantage of the fact that we were in a gallery to be silent nearly the whole time. He had commented on a few pieces that had caught his attention, but that was about it for our conversation. And we had sort of purposefully separated ourselves from the group so that he didn't feel pressured to talk to anyone.