It Could Be (Jatt fan fiction)

Chapter 17- Nowhere

~Matt's POV

"How- could- he-" I cried in between sobs. The guys decided I was too emotionally unstable for the party so it was over. They dragged me into the car where Carly tried to comfort me ad I bawled my eyes out with Ian and Mike giving me space.

We were at Mike and Ian's appartment that they shared. Not in the way Josh and I would.

Carly patted my back "He didn't want to..." she reasoned with me. Sadly, my brain was too messed with anger at him cheating. He wanted to be my boyfriend and that's how he want it?

"I DON'T CARE!" I yelled. I got up. "HE KNEW SHE WAD BAD YET HE WEBT ALONG WITH IT!" the anger dissapeared to pure sadness of crying in Carly's shoulder.

Mike and Ian just watched. None of us were good at comforting. "Shh Matt" she muttered quietly. She couldn't fix my problems. No one could. I smacked Carly hard and she

Glared at me. She had tears welling in her eyes.

"YOU CAN'T FIX THE PROBLEMS." I yelled at her hurt face.

"I'm not trying to. I know I can't. This isn't you Matt" she reminded me. Annoyed I almost went back to hit her. Mike stepped in.

"Matt. Stop". I glared at him. I punched him before grabbing his keys off the table. Making a dash for the door, I didn't dare let them stop me.

I slammed the door so hard I thought I had ripped it off the hinges. I stormed down the stairs and into the parking lot. Finding Mike's car, I kicked the tires for good measures before climbing in.

I reversed on some animal apparently. Some kids watching shrieked in fear. "FUCK THAT!" I yelled.

On the major road, I cooled it so I wouldn't be arrested. Yet an angry scowl state on my face. I had no idea where I eas going. Maybe to fin Josh to beat him about it.

At the red light, I pulled out my phone. Some texts from Josh.

[Matt?]

[I'm sorry]

What utter bullshit. I thought bitterly I replied with one angrily with one hand punching each key with such fury I felt some shake out of place. Writing some texts, I sent.

[Don't think you'll ever be forgiven]

[Where the he'll are you anyway?]

He replied quickly.

[Nowhere]

Nowhere was this hill that looked across the town. We found it accidentally when we got lost. We figured we were the only ones who knew. I still knew where it was.

Driving up the hill, I thought of many ways of hurting Josh for what he did. Half way up the hill, I saw Josh's car there. Despite myself, I threw some trash at it which got stuck in the windshield and wipers.

Once Josh's crouching body came in view, I made sure to make it appear I was going to running him over but stopped so it was centimeters from his face.

I slammed the door as I excited the car. "You almost fucking rolled me over" he said angrily yet with a funny ting.

I glared at him "So I didn't hit you?" I spat. Hurt flashed across aJosh's face. I didn't let him speak anymore. "You asked me to be yor boyfriend and you fell for Jeena's tricks. You knew she was bad Josh. Dammit, you didnt even apologize to me. A text doesntcount you douche bag."

At the end, I felt the sad part of my tantrum kick in. Waterworks ran as I collapsed on the ground near the single treethere. I pulled my knees into my chest curling into a ball. The pain overtook everything.

Josh took a sat nextto me not attempting kisses or anything. I needed some space anyway. We both stard ahead into the city.

"I really am sorry. I was just so embarrassed I let it happen with you and Carly there" he trailed on. "Im an egomaniac that can't stand up for his boyfriend in front of some people" he started to shake. I knew the shaking was from holding back some tears.

I didn't have the softness or anger to yell or comfort. Instead, to text.

[<3]

I watched as Josh took out his phone. He read the messsg. While he was atit, I texted him a thousand more. He rolled his eyes. A slow smile forming on his mouth.

Thats all I needed. Some reason for what he did and some answers. Regaining my cool collected self, I realized allthe people I bothered today.

Carly for slapping her when she was trying to help.

Ian and Mike for putting them in hell for making them do that.

Of course Josh for causing him so much emotional pain. In the end, who was the jerk?

Me. I should be crowned king of Douche Bags.

I felt tears sting as I remembered all of that. I scooted forward next to Josh on the edge. Our legs were dangling off the side.

I wiped away the tears before talking "I am such an asshole." I whispered to myself. Josh heard that.

"Assholes date assholes. What do you know" he replied shrugging. He threw some stuff off the Clift. We watched as a rock plummeted to the ground.

"I screwed up so much today" I quickly filled him in on what I did.

"That poor road kill" he murmured with a chuckle. I smiled. He threw some more stuff off the Clift.

"This wouldn't work. I knew it." he grumbled for meto hear. I looked at him with wide eyes. What did he just say.

"Josh. It will work. We just have some blotchy points. Big deal". I replied no chalantly. I knew I needed Josh there for me. I couldn't ever loose him.

"No it won't!" he looked me in the eye. Personal hate burned in his eyes. "I screw up everything. Even you." he got up but I grabbed his sleeve dragging him down.

"Josh. Nothing is screwed up." I replied with a firm tone.

Josh's finger traced some of the never fading scars across my face. The ones from our fight. "See these? I created them and yet you somehow forgave me and let it slide. I screwed up yourlife." he yelled "You lost your parents cause of me. You get all these rumors and hate comments because of me."

I wiped away some tears from his face. "No you didn't. I chose it that way. I could've always said no and backed off"

"Cause I'm a pushy ass." he replid without missing a beat.

"No. Cause I love you. Like a lot. I need you there for me." I pleaded. Tears trickled from my eyes and onto the grass around us. "Please Josh" I begged.

Josh sighed. He got up not offering his hand, but that was ok. "I don't deserve you. I never will. Bye Matt." his fingers brushed my shoulder before he headed to hid car. I got up to stop him but he just continued on my clawing and screems.

"Work this out with me Josh. Pleases" I felt desperate hand from every word. I lost this battle. As Josh's car started, he rolled down his window "Bye Matt" he murmered sadly

I sat down onthe hill as his car disappeared into the casting shadows and bushes. I cried to no one. I really did cause this didn't I. Josh was prepared to forgive and forget yet I somehow provoked a whole new problem.

Still King of the Douches.