The Broken Mind of an Outcast (frerard)

I'm winning yet losing.

I stayed in my room silently crying to myself for about two hours. 

My birthgiver entered the room and sat at the foot of my bed. 

"Gerard? Can you tell me what happened?"

I groaned then began to shed tears again.

"Gerard darling? Please tell me"

"Frank will be the death of me."

"What did you just say? Who is Frank?"

"The most beautiful person in the dimension."

"What are you trying to say Gerard?"

"He's perfect."

"Gerard?"

"Yes?"

"Have you fallen in love with a boy?"

"I don't know."

Birthgiver sighed. 

"What?"

"Your father won't approve."

"I don't care. I just want to be with Frank but he has a boyfriend." I gave my birthgiver sad eyes.

She began stroking my hair, "You can't give up Gerard."

"Well theres no use. Hes in love with the wrong person!" 

"Darling but what if hes in love with the right person?"

"STOP IT! DON'T SAY THAT!" 

"Honey, you have to understand that not everyone is going to love you back."

"But its Frank. This is different because I know hes my soul mate."

"Does he think you're his soul mate?"

I got silent, "I'm not sure."

She stroked my hair again, "I should at least get to know this boy you're so madly in love with, Why don't you invite him to dinner tomorrow?" 

I sniffed, "Okay, I just hope he isn't mad at me for stroming off like that." 

"He probaly isn't honey, Why don't you go to sleep now, You've had a tiring day." She kissed my forehead and left.

I would have to admit my birthgiver is a very kind woman and shes very motherly but I can't help but to not think of her as a mother but just a birthgiver. 

But maybe she was right what if Frank didn't have feelings for me whatsoever. What if he didn't think I was his soulmate? Maybe he didn't feel what I felt when I first saw him. My birthgiver also seemed to forget the fact that I can't sleep. 

I stared at the ceiling for what seemed to be years. But in reality it was only about maybe more than 12 hours. No matter how hard I tried to sleep my brain just wouldn't budge. I hated that about myself. The fact that I couldn't sleep. A little part of me hoped that Frank would change that. But nobody has ever changed me. How could I expect Frank to? Just thinking of it made me want to cry. But I didn't cry because I'm stronger than that and I'm sure as hell not coward. I was definetly not going to let Frank play with my emotions like this. 

My alarm went off and I pressed the top of it. I got up. I put on my uniform then walked to the bathroom and applyed a thin layer of eyeliner. But just enough for my eyes to stand out. I made my hair look just right. My birthgiver said Hello and gave me a sweet smile.

"Gerard honey don't forget to invite Frank!" 

I nodded then walked out the door. Was I really going to invite Frank? Of course I am how else am I supposed to win his heart.

I continued to walk to school. All the sunshine was quite irritaing. I wasn't one to like sunshine very much. I'm more of a darkness dude. Like batman. I continued my stroll when I heard someone yelling my name from behind. I slowly turned around to see Frank running towards me and yelling my name. I guess I was too lost in his eyes to see where I was going because before I knew it Frank had jumped on top of me and we both fell to the ground. I smiled at him then started to laugh and he just stared at me smiling.

"What are you looking at?" I said laughing.

"You're just so beautiful." Frank kept on smiling.

I laughed.

Frank started to laugh too, "What are you laughing at?"

"You're just so cute thats all."

Frank and I just laughed and laughed.

Frank was still on top of me when he gasped, "Oh my god! We'll be late for school! C'mon!"

Frank pulled me up then grabbed my hand and we began to run. We were laughing and smiling all the way there.

Every second I was falling in love with Frank more and more. I take it back. Every milisecond.

We stopped at the front of the school. Our hands still collided. 

"I don't want to go in there Frank."

"Its okay Gee I don't want to go in either."

Frank then rested his head on my shoulder. I smiled to myself. I was winning his heart.

"C'mon Frankie lets go."

"Gee I don't want to."

I turned him around making him face me. I kneeled down and cupped my hands on his face, "Frankie Its okay, I'm right here." 

I smiled at him then kissed his forehead. I held his hand and we walked through the doors.

Together.