Reality

Chapter 32

That sigh actually put me in a relatively good mood; just thinking of what transpired over the past few days brings a smile to my face. I stood with my back to the door, smiling like an idiot when my mom walked into the foyer.

"Nicole? Are you ok?" She asked. Yep, I did look like an idiot just smiling looking off into nowhere.

My attention was to her now. "Oh, hi mom. Yeah, i'm fine. I'm just in a good mood, I guess."

"Well, how was it?" She asked walking toward me.

"Amazing." I told her, still smiling.

"You're hiding something." Dammit. How can she tell.

"Well...Jason told me he loved me." I confessed, looking at the ground. I skipped the part about him kissing me.

"Really? And what did you say?" She asked.

"I told him the truth; I love him too."

"Are you sure? That's a really big thing to tell someone."

"Yes, i'm sure mom. He makes me feel wanted in this world; important. He loves me and I love him, and i'm sure of it." I said briskly walking past her.

"And where did your boot go?" She asked, her arms crossed.

"I don't need it. It's been weeks since I dislocated it and that's all I needed." I was at the top of the stairs by this point.

"Well, ok. If you injure it again, i'm not sorry."

"I won't be either because it won't happen. I'm jumping in the bathtub, love ya!" I said.

---

It's been 5 weeks since my trip with Jason. My birthday is exactly a month away and rehearsal is getting intense. Almost everyday after school I had rehearsal until 8 except Thursdays. I really hated not spending time with Jason as much, but we hung out on the weekends and every Thursday. I hope this doesn't ruin our relationship.

Today was Friday.

"Come on Nicole, really feel the music." My instructor told me. I nodded and tried my solo again.

"That's it, continue with the emotion!" It's pretty funny sometimes what they say, but you have to be serious about it.

It was time for my partner to lift me up; the hand placement was pretty awkward, honestly. He had to place a hand...between my legs and another around my ankle, but the result looked amazing. After a few tries, I got it perfect and didn't feel awkward about it. The Waltz portion ended and so did rehearsal.

"Alright, go home now." Ms. Einsten told the dancers. "Nicole, can you come here?"

I jogged over to her. "Yes, did you need me.?"

"Yes, remember what I said; pour out all your emotion into your pointe work. You're pointe has improved a lot this season, i'm very proud. What maker do you wear?"

She was referring to the brand of pointe shoe I wear. "Uh, Freeds Studio II, hard shank." I said in between pants. I was breathing pretty heavily since rehearsal just ended.

"Oh, can you switch over to Russians? I think they'll look better on you feet." She recommended; it wasn't really a question, more of a command. Great. Now I have to get used to a whole different shoe and I might end up rolling it again. I wasn't happy about it, but I knew I had to.

"Yeah, I can try. I'll go get fitted right now. Thank you." I curtsied to her and jogged out of the studio to the shoe room. The tiny room was packed with thousands of pointe shoes, ballet shoes, tap shoes, everything. I walked to the Russians section and tried on a size. Once I found the perfect fit, I paid and drove home. At first I was a little apprehensive about trying a new maker out, since the performance was only a month away; they could screw up my feet, you never know. Either way, I had to sew them tonight and break them in tomorrow for Monday's rehearsal.

When I got home, I threw my dance bag in my room and ran downstairs to get some water. My mom was talking on the phone.

"Uh huh...yes i'll tell her."

Who was she talking to?

"Uh huh...ok...thank you." She hung up. Sadness immediately overtook her and she set the phone down. I could tell she was holding back tears.

"Mom? What's wrong?" I asked, I knew something was wrong.

"Um...it's Clarisa."