It's happening again. My mind is being pushed into this dark place. It's happening again, I can't escape the dark. it's happening again I am right where I don't want to be. Little pieces of what makes me feel alright are being ripped away slowly. I feel as if my mind is this place that Is filled with awful thoughts and there is no room for the good anymore. I have forgotten what I looked like without the scars I have forgotten what it is like to not only to receive love but to give. I use to think that this was normal that everyone one would feel this way at some point in their life's, but I now realize that this is all my life is. This constant feeling of not good enough and try harder. I am facing these problems time and time again and for whatever reason I can not win. I have fought this demon over a million times and for the life of me I can not figure out it's weakness. It constantly reminds me of who I have lost and what I want to be. That no matter how hard I try I will never compare to this demon. And I wish I could say I'm not sure why. But the reason is this demon is me. This demon is a bundle of my own thoughts and fears. And God I wish I could find a way out of this. A way to get away from myself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am very sorry for those of you that care I am bad at updating. I just have a lot going on right now. And very bad writers block. But I'm hoping to update soon. Have a good day/night. ♡
