Shadows Ablaze

Chapter 26- Shyah

I wave at Jair as I trek through the lobby.

"Back again?" he chuckles.

I toss my head, forcing a laugh. "I just can't catch a break."

Jair smiles, reaching down just as a buzzer sounds, signaling the door is unlocked. "Good luck!" he says as I disappear down the D wing.

I bounce down the hall, glancing at the clock as I go. The long minute hand scratches against the three, signaling its time. I slam into the door leaving the D wing and glance into the black stillness of the night. Something moves, but it doesn't scare me. He knew what time to meet me.

Jaxon follows me in, letting the white lights wash over him and soak into his skin. "Hey." I mean for the greeting to come out stronger, but it leaves my lips in a self-conscious whisper, as if nervous to be heard.

Smoky eyes lock on me as we enter the lab, but no words find their way to the empty air around us. Suddenly, I'm not sure this was a good idea. What was I thinking? Inviting an officer who is also an orphan boy into the lab to tell him about the secret I found in the injection serum. Especially after what Rynn told me today. She wants me to continue these experiments. Wants me to send the altered kids down south. Will Jaxon be one of those kids?

Leading him to the center of the room, I gesture to a metal stool that's tucked under one of the tables. He lowers himself onto the seat and I follow suit.

"So?" he begins. "Why did you invite me? What do you know?" He isn't wearing his officer uniform, but he somehow looks just as official. Just as intimidating. Just as cute.

"You were right, earlier today. The reason your friend had such an odd reaction is because of the injection."

Jaxon's cheeks flare a bright red as a dark shadow falls over his eyes, making the smoky gray-blue turn the color of the ocean after nightfall. "Did you know?" Each word is like a match, sparking flames in his now dark eyes.

"I just found out last night."

"But you knew this afternoon. When we came into the hospital. When I accused the other scientist."

I don't react, but instead just stare at him.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"What was I supposed to say?" I can hear the defensive tone in my words, but I don't care. How dare he question me. Who does he think he is? Just because some idiot decided to hand him a uniform and a gun doesn't make him a hotshot who can demand things from me. "I am a Shadow. I have no place to question my mentor or the work being done here."

"Didn't you choose to be here? You wanted to be a part of this."

I wave my hands in the air. "I didn't know about all of this."

"But you do now!" he argues. "And you still decide to stay."

His words are daggers pointed at my chest. I could tell him what Rynn told me. That we're sending the orphans to live in an area we know is unsurvivable for a normal human. 

But how would he react if I told him that? If he found out that the kids he has grown up with, and maybe even him, are being used to see if it's possible for humans to live further south. Will he even be at the orphanage when this all happens? The way Rynn was talking, there's still time before the final phase is executed. There's no way he'll be there when we decide to move forward with the final phase. This doesn't affect him directly, so why tell him about it?

There are stories of the old world. Ones where people swam in the ocean and waves crashed on these things called beaches. People would lay and soak up the sun. They would play games and laugh in the sand. And there were trees that rolled for miles with lush, green canopies. And flowers of all colors that would poke their heads through the ground every spring.

But none of that exists anymore. The water is toxic. The UV rays from the sun are unbearable. The only "trees" were made decades ago out of metal that now rusts in the city square. And flowers are just a memory.

Maybe I could figure out how to bring those things back. But that all depends on having these orphans surviving in the south. That's the first step. The experiment needs to succeed first. So I'm careful about what my next words are.

"I looked at that serum we injected into all the boys at Justice Haven. It was weird..." I can see the images clearly in my head, as if I'm watching it all over again. "It was like the serum was attacking the white blood cells and merging with its DNA. Changing it. Making it into something it wasn't," I whisper.

Jaxon stares at me, eyebrows set in a straight line. "It was altering him..." he connects. "But why? And why didn't it affect anyone else like that?"

I shake my head, drumming my fingers against my dark thighs. "I was hoping you would be able to help with that part. Was there anything different about him?"

Jaxon's eyes are low as he looks at me.  "No," he sighs. "He was quiet and definitely a little off. He had just gotten here from Bandona about a month ago. I didn't know him that well." Something pulls at his expression as the final sentence floats into existence. I can tell there's more. His stiff posture and hard, clasped hands in his lap tell me there is. But I don't push. He just lost someone. And while I don't know what that feels like, I know it must hurt, so I don't overstep.

The room grows silent as we sit beside each other, neither of us lifting our eyes to look at the other. The air that surrounds us feels heavy and uncomfortable, like a jacket that is a size too small. I wonder if he feels it too.

The stool beneath Jaxon screeches in protest as he stands. I mirror the motion out of habit. His smoky eyes don't miss the gesture. The corner of his mouth flicks up for half a second before he drives it away. He slips his hand into his shorts pocket and pulls out a clear baggy. Ten small, light blue pills are wedged inside. The light catches a couple, causing them to shimmer and reveal their metallic undertone, as Jaxon hands me the bag. I grip it between two fingertips, but I don't bring it closer to my body.

Jaxon laughs at me, rolling his eyes. "Stop worrying. Those," he says, pointing to the plastic bag that dangles in the air. "Are from a drug dealer's stash. I slipped them from the evidence closet. Can you test them and let me know what you find?"

I can feel wrinkles forming on my forehead as I watch him. Is this a test? He pushes the bag into my chest, forcing me to pull it close. "Wh-what are you looking for?" Skepticism coats my words, as it should. I got "busted" with one of these pills after the party. My mother was disappointed, and I can't imagine what it took for her to negotiate secrecy from the hospital and the police—Jaxon... he was the officer who asked me questions. The realization strikes me hard. Suddenly, the fact that illegal drugs are in my possession makes me extremely uncomfortable.

The drone of Jaxon's voice drifts to my ears. I look up at him, watching as his lips stop moving.

"Wait, what?"

"I said, I'm just wondering if those pills have anything in them that causes seizures. Like the one you had," he adds.

"Okay wait." I hold my palm out to him. "Stop right there. I never took one of these. I don't know why I had a seizure, but I didn't take a pill."

He shrugs and although he doesn't say anything, the look in his eyes tells me he isn't entirely convinced.

"I'm serious!" I shriek. "I don't do drugs." It's the line I used the night of the party, but my friends didn't accept that as an answer. I remember Ben's hand on mine as he pushed the pill to my lips. But I hadn't swallowed it. I would never swallow it.

"Can you just look into it for me?"

My jaw sets. I want to say no. I should say no. I don't want to be involved in this. I have more important things going on right now. "Yes," my lips reply, but I swear I don't tell them to.

He dips his head. "Thank you." He strolls across the room. "Oh!" He spins on his heels to meet my eyes, which can't seem to pull away from him. "Don't mention this to anyone else. We're onto something at the station, but don't want it reaching the public before we know for sure. Can you do that?"

Once again, my stupid lips answer before I give them permission. "Yes."

He turns his back to me, satisfied with my cooperation, and disappears into the hall, leaving me alone in the lab.