That's The Difference

T W E N T Y - T H R E E

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"Fal, can we talk?" James asked. I looked up from my book, I looked around the library. I have been avoiding them, all of them. Ignoring Remus when he wants to read or study, avoiding Viv at all costs. Sirius and James have tried to double team me but I end up hexing them. Peter has been offering sweets as I pass. And avoiding Marlene, Severus, and Regulus in general. I've even gone about ignoring Dumbledore as well.

"About what?" I asked, looking back into my book. "Fallon, what happened at the meeting?" He asked. I closed my book, "James, I already told you. I told all of you. And if you really wanted to know you would ask Severus." I hissed.

"What do you really want?" I questioned. He grabbed my books and walked out of the library. I groaned and followed him to an empty classroom. He set down my books and pulled me in quickly. I looked up at him. I sat on a table and watched as he ran his hands through his hair. He looked at me, I motioned him to come closer. He sighed and walked up to my knees. I slowly raised my hands to his face.

He closed his eyes slowly, making them flutter. I took his glasses off and placed them on my side. Gently, I ran my fingers through his dark curls. He hummed in relief, letting my thumb rub against his cheeks. He sighed and slowly started to relax, a faint smile etched its way onto his lips. "Thank you." He breathed out, his warm breath blew lightly across my cheeks. I pulled my hands away from him.

Grabbing his glasses, I placed them back on the bridge of his nose. "Fallon, why were you really blaming me, a couple weeks ago?" James asked. I sighed and pulled farther away from him. "I want the truth, Fal." He pulled my wrists, bringing me closer. He pulled up a chair and sat in front of my legs.

Our fingers lightly touch each other. The tips of our fingers make the most delicate but loving touch. We are afraid if we give in, to holding each other's full hand, it won't stop. Giving in, it will just open the entire vault where we pushed down the crave and the overwhelming feelings that we hate to admit, but we still have for each other. So we let out finger tips touch and soak up the love and admiration we don't dare to cave into.

"I guess. I blame you because. Merlin this is so stupid." I groan and close my eyes. "I blame you, because I keep thinking that if maybe I keep sacrificing myself for her, then you will finally see. See how much I give up, for you. I'm not doing it for her or for the bloody greater good. I'm doing it because I have just a sliver of hope that you will pick me." I breathed out.

"That sliver of hope that maybe, someday, you'll finally look at me and look at her and you will just see how much I. I love you." I choked, holding in tears. "And Maybe, just maybe after all this chaos is gone, we could be together, happy. But I have to remind myself that it'll always be Evans. Because she's the Gryffindor Golden Girl. Because her father didn't cause this." I choked out. I opened my eyes, noticing James had left.

I scoffed and threw my book at the wall. I dried my tears and pulled myself together. "It'll always be Evans." I reminded myself. Grabbing my bag I walked out of the classroom. There he was, James Potter. Across the hall, holding Lily Evans' hands and kissing her temple as a token of his affection. Because Lily Evans is everyone's first choice. I know he left when I said I love him. I'm not stupid, he freaked out that I admitted it. "It's always going to be Evans." I whispered to myself, tears trickled down my cheeks.

July 1st, 1978

End of Fallon's 7th Year

"I'm going to miss you at Hogwarts with me." Viv admitted, I smiled and pulled her into a tight hug. "Please owl me if you ever need anything." I begged, she nodded and pulled away. I grabbed Regulus' arm, "Hey, is everything okay?" I asked, he nodded. As we all went our separate ways Mia pulled me into a hug. I laughed and hugged her back. "You are welcome anytime dear." She smiled. "Thank you Mia." I smiled and kissed her cheek then Fleamont's cheek.