Broken Dreams - A TommyInnit Angst

Im Sorry

TW⚠️
-Abuse

If you are triggered by this I wouldn't advise reading on.
———————————————————————————————————————————————

I woke up to the sound of my alarm blaring in my ear, i checked the time 9:45, I'm supposed to stream with Wilbur at 10:00. I really didn't want to get up, it would be amazing if I could just sleep all day but i knew that i had to check on Wil to see if he was up.

Using all of my energy i managed to get out of bed, i picked my phone up and checked my notifications, just as expected there was one from Wilbur.

Wil
Tommy are you up yet??? The stream starts in 10 minutes!!!
BIG MAN
Yes I'm getting up now calm down!!

I was about to start up my PC until I heard a smash downstairs followed by my name.
"Tommy get down here now" My dad screamed.
Great, it's only 9:50 and he's already drunk, or maybe he's not and he's just in a really bad mood from being drunk all night, it's never that he just want to talk because he doesn't is always to yell at me or beat me up.

I made my way downstairs bracing myself for what was coming, I hoped that the conversation, more like lecture, wouldn't end up in me obtaining more injuries. I've learnt how to cover the bruises but it takes a while and I don't think I would have time to apply it in time for the stream, shit the stream. My dad better make this quick or I'll be late, who am I kidding his lectures are never quick I may as well just accept that I'm gonna be late. My friends won't mind would they I mean their sometimes late to.

Of course they will mind, they will be so mad at you and they would never want to speak to you ever again. You don't deserve friends anyway, I mean who would want to be friends with you, your loud and annoying.

Seriously, I just got up why? Why did the voice have to start now, I'm used to it by now but today I'm already stressed enough without it making things worse. I walked into the kitchen to see my dad leaning against the counter, yep he was definitely drunk, without the support of the counter he would probably have fallen over. I looked around the kitchen, there were bottles everywhere I don't know how the got there I cleaned the kitchen yesterday, well based on how unstable he looked there is a possibility he drank all of in within the past 24 hours, I haven't been downstairs since yesterday and it was spotless when I finished, within reason, I wouldn't get rid on the stains on the counters.
"I thought I told you to clean this kitchen!" My dad said, his speech slurred. I honestly don't know how he could possibly form a sentence.
"I'm sorry sir, I cleaned it yesterday and I haven't been downstairs since then" oh no, I regretted saying that as soon as I finished the sentence. My dad gave me 4 rules.
-Call him Sir
-Do whatever he says
-Don't talk unless spoken to
And
-Don't answer back

I broke rule four, this wasn't doing to end well at all. My heart started to race, well there goes the hope of not gaining for bruises.

I quickly glanced at the broken clock on the wall, 10:05AM great I'm late, my dad cracked the glass when he threw a beer bottle at it one night, it was supposed to hit me but I managed to dodge it again a big mistake, I ended up with a huge bruise that night it hour at least an hour to cover it up and that still wasn't good enough and people noticed it on stream but I managed to come up with I decent excuse.

"What did you just say to me!" my dad yelled.

I was going to say something but I figured it would only make it worse so I just stood there staring at the floor, my heart pounding so hard I could hear it in my head.

"Look at my eyes when I talk to you" my eyes immediately moved from the floor to his eyes "When I talk to you I expect a simple answer not an explanation, honestly can you not do anything right, you can't even clean the kitchen when I ask you and especially when I ask nicely", his definition of 'nicely' is a lot different then the actual definition. His definition if 'nicely' is storming into my room and instead of beating me up for 10 minutes it would only be for 5 minutes.

"Tommy" he continued "I asked you nicely to do something for me and you can't even do that" his voice got more angry the more he spoke "I let you stay here, I let you keep your room, I let you stream. And yet you cant even do ONE THING FOR ME!"
The next thing I knew there was a bottle being thrown at me, I put my arms up to protect my face but the bottle still smashed and cut my arms. The truth is I hated my dad, the only reason he lets me stay here is because I'm the only one who provides the money which really shouldn't be my job, that's the only reason he lets me stream, all the money I get from streaming goes straight to him, I can't keep any of it and if I do I get punished for it. When he first started taking it after my mom left I managed to keep about £4 of it each time to buy food because he spends it all on alcohol, but now I don't even bother. My stomach ended up becoming immune to the hunger so I just stopped buying food, occasionally I buy a bit of food but not often

The next thing I know my dad is throwing a punch straight at my hitting my eye, I stumble back holding onto the counter for support, before I could recover from the previous punch there was another one heading straight for me and ended up hitting the side of my face knocking me down to the floor. I was now lying on the floor weak and vulnerable, he walked up to me and stared directly at me as he towered above me.
I prepared myself for what was about to come, this wasn't the first time I was in this position. He began to kick me in the stomach shouting abuse with every kick.
"YOUR USELESS!"
"YOUR WEAK!"
"I HATE YOU!"
"NO WONDER YOUR MOM LEFT YOU!"
"YOUR A DISAPPOINTMENT!"
"YOUR A WASTE OF SPACE!"
"YOUR A WASTE OF OXYGEN!"
"YOUR A CRAPPY EXCUSE FOR A SON!"
And with that he was done, he stormed out of the kitchen and through the front door, seconds later I heard the car start. He was going to the pub no doubt. I looked back up at the clock it read 10:30AM. No no no, I'm so late there gonna hate me.

I ran upstairs, I'll clean the kitchen later he won't be back for at least a couple hours, turned on my pc, opened discord and joined the call.

3rd person POV
Tommy: Sorry I'm late guys I was... talking to my dad.
Tubbo: Oh my god Tommy, have you even started streaming yet?
Tommy: ummm, no I just wanted to apologise first
Wilbur: excuses excuses, your never on time Tommy, can't you just try for once in your life!
Techno: Yea I mean cmon do you even care, your so useless!
Tubbo: why are we even friends with you?
Tommy: I SAID IM SORRY, I KNOW THATS NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU, ITS NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR ANYONE, IM NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR ANYONE, I NEVER AM, AND IM SORRY FOR THAT BUT I CANT HELP IT!

Even they know how worthless you are, everything your dad tells you is true and now your friends can see it too, they will never want to talk to you again, they aren't your friends anymore. They hate you, your dad hates you, your mom hates you, even you hate you. Your worthless and you know it. Your dad was right you are a pathetic excuse for a son, and a friend. NO ONE LIKES YOU!

The whole call went silent.

Tubbo: Tommy that was a joke, we were messing with you.
Wilbur: yea... are you ok dude?
Phil: I told them not to do it, but the insisted saying that you knew they would be joking, I'm-
Before Phil could finish, Tommy cut him off.
Tommy: yea I knew that I was playing along... ummm guys I'm gonna head off, I don't really feel like streaming today anyway.

And with that Tommy left the call.

word count: 1500