Fuckboy {Draco Malfoy 18+}

4. fuck, marry, avada kedavra.

I'm laying on the couch with my head in Blaise's lap.

It's not weird, is it?

Blaise's mother, a rich and famous witch that is the equivalent of a muggle supermodel, taught Blaise Zabini how to braid hair at an early age.

And he's currently braiding mine, pulling so tightly on my scalp that I'm hissing into my bottle of fire whiskey.

"Jesus Blaise, just rip my fucking hair out already, if you're so determined," I snap up to him, touching the top section of the tight-ass Dutch braids gingerly with my finger.

"I'm spending my precious free time with a cranky muggle-born in my lap," Blaise says with a dark chuckle. I glare up at him. "Stop your bitching."

"Okay, Evan. Fuck, Marry, Avada. . ." Theo starts, tapping a finger to his chin and looking up at the ceiling. He's got his own bottle in his hand and has been tapping his fingers on it audibly. The sound heightens now, as he tries to find the next three subjects for our game. "I got it."

"You don't got it," I say, scoffing. Blaise pulls, or rather yanks, the midsections of my hair into the braid and I groan in pain. My eyes are watering, for fuck's sake.

"Oh yeah I do," Theo says, grinning over at me. Onyx is sitting on the opposite end of the couch from me, and I've got my feet resting in her lap, my head in Blaise's. And Theo is sitting in the arm chair, looking at the three of us head-on. He looks positively evil.

"Severus Snape. . ."

I shudder. "Greasy ass motherfucker."

"Dumbledore, were he alive," Theo says, making the catholic cross symbol over his chest. He touches his own forehead, then his chest, then taps one shoulder, then the other, looking up at the ceiling of the dungeon as if in prayer.

"I know who Theo'd pick to fuck. . ." Onyx says under her breath, making me laugh.

"And Lucius Malfoy," Theo says, then he sits back in his chair as if he's a god reincarnated.

"Easy," I say, sitting up at Blaise's command so he can braid the bottom half of my hair. I prop up on my elbow, tapping the ash off my cigarette. "First of all, Avada the shit out of Dumbledore."

"Ruthless!" Blaise exclaims, tying the braids off.

"Marry Snape," I say, after some consideration.

"God, why?" Theo asks, giggling. "You really want to shag old Snape for the rest of your life?"

"No, you see," I say, sitting up and sitting cross legged between Blaise and Onyx. "Just because I marry him doesn't mean I have to fuck him. That's the point."

"So that leaves-"

"Yeah, I'd fuck Lucius," I say casually.

"Oh, would you?" says a cold voice from behind the couch. My eyes widen a bit, especially when Draco Malfoy walks around the couch and sits in the vacant armchair beside Theo, right in front of my line of sight.

I swallow my horror and shrug. "Mm-hmm. It'd be a good hatefuck, for sure."

Malfoy is the palest shade of white I've ever seen, and the tops of his cheeks are cherry red. He's not embarrassed, though. No, no. He's fucking furious.

"Is this what you prats have been doing for the past hour?" Malfoy spits out, looking everywhere but at me. "Fantasizing about shagging my father?"

"I have been," Theo says, zoning out and staring down at the candle on the coffee table. "Aw yeah. I'd give Daddy Lucy a right foul time."

Onyx giggles, and it's clear they all want to piss Malfoy off. "And that hair," she says, purposefully making her voice sound husky. "Mmmm."