One part of an equation: Book 1. (A fourx fan fiction)

Chapter 9: Anger

Content watching: trigger warning, backstory reveals, subtle mentions of being shot which may be triggering to some. Bullying, violence, and self harm. If this isn't stuff you're interested in I will recap this chapter in the next one.

Four's POV:

I groan. God! I literally fucking hate myself. Why- I'm not gay. Gay people are the worst right! That's what I'm raised to believe so it must be right. I just can't help but love X. I hate how much I love the annoying guy! With his dumb high pitched squeaky voice and beautiful eyes and soft hair... shit I need to stop thinking. "Ok X, come in my room. We can narrow it down." I lead him to my room. It had an old leather beaten up couch, a loft bed, a desk, and a cheap ceiling fan. I sat down at my desk. "Ok X, so who are your suspects? I genuinely forgot already." I mumbled. X just smiled "Oh! One, Two, or Five." I just nod. "Yeah- those are technically possibilities." I mumbled. X looked confused. "Ok..." he mumbled. I sighed... "Ok well they all are single I believe and attracted to males so I guess it makes sense." I mutter. An entire fucking day goes by, nothing. I help him find out nothing. Feeding him false hope. Man... I really am the worst...

The next day...

Still Four's POV:

I trudge my way into the shitty ass school. I notice Pin staring at me. I snarl at her, shoving her to the ground, she squeaks and cowers away. I kick her and growl angrily. My fists clenched. Her papers had scattered across the smooth floor. I stomp away as Coiny goes to help her, I ignore him and walk to my algebra class. I ignore the teacher as I draw something in my diary. It was me... but in a mutilated broken form. I'll never forget what he did. Never... it changed me. It's part of me. Never told anyone. Never let anyone know what I've been through. Never opened up. The class ends and I hastily pack my stuff away. As I walk my brain felt foggy as I kept thinking about it. What he did I- I'll never forget. I ran to the bathroom. Locking myself in. I took off my light blue gloves. I pulled out a knife, slitting my wrists. I had scars all over my hands. I smiled through my tears. I cut my hands in a few other places, putting my gloves back on. Concealing the scars. I walk out of the bathroom, I had put on my black hoodie I kept in my backpack. I pull my hood up and hid my face. I sat down. I didn't eat anything. I just sat alone, I sketched something in my sketchbook. I got a few tears on the page. I sigh. I felt my eyes grow dark, my pupils expanding and covering my eyes. I suppressed the urge to just- my thoughts were cut off as a bell rang. Recess... ugh. I hated it, I put on shades to make sure nobody saw my pupils. I walk outside, backpack on. I sit under a tree. I see all the other teens just hanging out. They were so lucky, they haven't experienced life yet. I'll never forget the day I learnt to never trust anyone. Never get comfortable. Never. Feel. Safe. I just stared at everyone... knife twiddling in my hand. The day went by like a blur. I arrived home. Locking myself in the room... I looked at the large hole in my arm. A bullet still lodged inside... I lay on my couch and fall asleep.

Hey guys! I will be putting content warnings when revealing stuff abt Four's past in this book. I'm not saying it's cannon or will be in BFB it's just in the book. And this isn't stuff I take lightly, I'm having this be a part of it to add to his character and why he acts how he does. Also to clear up any misconceptions abt what happened to Four he basically got shot.