°PART TWENTY THREE°

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Taehyung's P.O.V

I'm standing in front of hyung's room. Was this a good idea? I'm not sure. Do I expect something good to come out of this? No. Then why am I here? Why did I even agree to this? What the fuck was I thinking when I said yes to this meeting? I'm here anyways. Might as well just see where this shit is going. I don't know why this made me uncomfortable. Probably because the last time he asked me to hang out with him was like ten years back. I should calm down.

I took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

"Come on in", he screamed from inside the room.

I walked into his room. It looked so different from when we were kids. There were more books and video games than I imagined. It was rather clean considering how clumsy he was. The room even had a fresh smell, probably from a room freshener.

"Hey Tae", hyung said with a smile. I forgot the last time he smiled at me like that.

"Hey"

"Come sit down", he said pointing at his bed. I went to sit on it. He sat on the chair in front of his computer, facing me.

"Did you eat anything after class?"

"Cut the crap hyung. What do you want me to do for you?", I asked. I know it was really rude of me but I don't know how to be nicer than this to him.

"Uh Tae. I told you. I don't want you to do anything for me. I wanted to apologize to you."

Did I hear that wrong? Him? Apologize? To me?

"Why would you apologize to me hyung?"

"Because I know I hurt you. And I've been hurting you."

What's gotten into him?

"Hyung could you be more clear please? I'm confused."

"About what happened ten years ago. I think I owe you an explanation and an apology."
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Hyung explained everything to me. Now I feel bad. He wasn't trying to be mean to me. He wasn't trying to ignore me. He was just struggling with himself.

Why didn't I think that way? Why did I always think of him as the villain who abandoned me? Why didn't I try harder to reach out to him? Why didn't I wait for him a little longer?

I guess I'm the one who was wrong all along. I feel terrible.

"You were really important to me Tae. Not 'were'. You still are important to me. I didn't mean to stay away from you. I didn't mean to hurt you. I was just so broken", he said with evident pain in his voice.

"Hyung", I called him. I put my hands around his shoulder to make him feel at ease. He finally looked up at me. His face was a crying mess. I could see how much pain he kept within himself for this long. I could see the sadness and sincerity in his eyes.

"You shouldn't have kept all this to yourself hyung. You should've told me. I'm your Taetae. I would've listened to you. I would've understood and believed whatever reason you gave me hyung."

Fuck. Now I'm crying.

"You were, you are and you always will be the most important person in my life. You have no idea how much I value you. You have no idea how much I love you hyung. You can't even imagine how much I've missed you."

"Tae. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have shut you out of my life. I've regretted it a million times. I'm sorry. I don't know why I didn't do this sooner. I'm sorry", he said. Tears were still trailing down his cheeks. I've never seen him like this before.

"I know you see me as that mean hyung who left you and now approaches you only when he needs something. I don't wanna be that anymore. I wanna be your Joonie hyung. Just like from when we were kids", he sobbed in between.

I hugged him tight. I hate seeing him like this. Even if I was mad all this time, I secretly hoped he was happy. He seemed happy on the outside but he kept all this pain within himself.

"Hyung, just promise me that you'll never shut me out of your life again. Please."

"I promise Tae. I'll never keep anything from you again." He hugged me back, tighter than I did.

I felt a huge load of weight lift off my chest. I feel lighter now. And happier. I got my hyung back!!! My best friend is back in my life!!!

It took us a while to stop crying and go back to having a normal conversation, but it was good. This meeting was good. I'm so glad I decided to come. It was worth the time❤️

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