Unholy Gestures

Chapter 15

Before he could follow me, I began to run away. I didn't care how I looked to anyone. I just wanted to get out of the gardens. The suffocating smell of flowers filled my senses, it was all I could focus on now.

Not how he left me. Not that I was furious. Not that I was upset. But the damn smell of flowers.

"Addi, don't leave at night, at least tell me you have someone waiting to pick you up." Cole calls out as I run away, his voice fading. I don't bother to answer.

Damn him and his concern.

Around the corner Jace's car waited. Idling by the gates. I glance over my shoulder, hoping that I don't see him, hoping that he won't know where I was staying. Because he was determined. He would keep trying no matter what I said.

I have to be away from him for a year. I'd spent most of last night searching how divorce works. I never had to do it before. I never thought I would have to do it.

The door slams behind me, only just missing my foot. Jace just sits there for a second, watching me gasp for air.

"Get out of here. Please. I don't want him to know where we're staying or what car you have."

"Are you okay, though? Did anything happen?" He asks me while he begins to pull away from the curb. Resting my head against the headrest, I shut my eyes. I know that Cole wouldn't catch up. Not anymore. We were driving away. "A?"

"He thought we could work it through."

"How insane is he? Really? He thought that this was something that could be worked through."

"He probably thought we could because I gave James a second chance."

"You should never given him a second chance in the first place."

"Please, Jace, can we not talk about the two times I've been cheated on." I look back to him, noticing for the first time that there was traffic. I swing my head back towards the gate I left a few minutes ago and standing there was Cole.

His dark eyes scanning the cars for the one I'd be in. Now facing back to Jace, I could see the concern in his eyes.

"He won't be able to see us, the back of the car has tint."

I glare at him, of course I knew that the car had tint. But it doesn't mean he won't not recognise the car. Mentioning this to Jace seemed to do nothing either, he was convinced that Cole didn't know his car nor where he lived.

Jace was wrong though. By the time we got back to his place, he had three missed calls from Cole. I knew exactly what he wanted, he wanted to convince me to not go through with divorce.

Nothing would change my mind though. I am certain that we cannot recover from this, there is nothing he can do.

"He really does believe you can get back together can't he?"

"He hopes. He's always had hope."

"Should you call him? Just tell him to not call me? Or even you."

"I really should, but I'm just drained tonight." Sighing, I rethink it, "actually, I might do it now, get it over and done with and you can have your phone back without fear of him calling."

"I'm sorry that you're going through this. I really wish he would just give up."

"He probably hopes that it's the persistence that will convince me to go back to him." Picking the phone up I walk back into the room where I've been staying, it's not like I can stay anywhere else.

His number is still in my phone under the name hubby, I change that before calling him. As rarely as I was on my phone anymore because of him I don't want to see hubby pop up every now and then.

"Addison, please think about this." He says, picking up on the first ring.

"Do you spend all your time on your phone waiting for me to call you back? That's just sad."

"Di, please. Don't make jokes right now."

"Why shouldn't I? You made a joke out of our marriage. Out of our vows." I scold, continuing before he could speak, "I have thought about it, Cole, you think I haven't? I've spent days convincing myself that this is the right thing to do."

"Don't let him change your mind, we are right for each other."

"Him? You mean Jace? You mean my best friend?"

"Yes, him. He's just trying to get between us. He can see the crack and is only driving the wedge deeper."

"You're are the most delusional person I have ever met. He would never attempt to take something that makes me happy away from me. You made me happy. Now, you only cause me pain. I can't stand being near you. Jace is only trying to help me."

"No, he's not, you're just blinded by the fact that you think you can trust him. He's trying to get you for himself."

"Cole, I am not a thing to be had by someone."

"I know you're not, does he?"

"Cole, if you keep going on about this, I will never speak to you again. I'm willing to possibly forgive you for what you did in time, but if you keep on with this path I will never say another word to you. You will never see me again." Anger was fuelling my words, this call wasn't about convincing me to not divorce him, it was his jealousy. Cole believed that something was going to happen between Jace and I.

"Addi, if you're willing to forgive me you shouldn't need to divorce."

"I meant that I'd be willing to forgive you. To talk to you. But I would never trust you again. I would never be able to trust you enough to be in a romantic relationship with you. I wouldn't forget. It would always live in the back of my mind, the doubt of what you could do. That I'm not enough. That is why I'm filing for divorce Cole."

"Give it a year, we have to see how a year goes. If you decide a year from now that it's over, I will agree and we will get a divorce. If you decide that you don't want to, I will be there. Give me a year to convince you to come back."

"Cole, if you think one year is going to be enough, you're wrong. You called me just now because you were jealous of Jace. Of my best friend. Someone who I have done nothing with and will do nothing with because all he is, is my closest friend. I don't trust you, and you don't trust me. Why don't we just agree to divorce and be done with?"

"Because I still love you Di, nothing will take that away. I have never loved anyone as much as a I love you."

"If you loved me as much as you say, you would never have kissed Katherine. You would have told me you knew her straight away and how you knew her. I'm done Cole, please stop calling me every god damn minute, stop calling Jace and please, stop calling my family. No one is going to tell you where I am. None of them trust you." I pull the phone away from my ear and hang up before he can say anything.

I just want to sleep, I'm tired, it's not even late. Cole is just draining everything from me.

I throw my phone onto the bed and I follow it. Just laying there, feeling the coolness of the pillows against my face. I fully expect myself to cry, lying there in a bed with no one to comfort me. But I don't. Instead I remain still, eyes closed.

Maybe I don't have to get up. I could just stay here, it'll do no harm.