DINING WITH MY ANCESTORS

Episode 1: Trouble

  I am Amanda, a girl with a lot of predicaments right from birth.
I lost my parents at age ten and I was left with my kid sister who was eight years old. Since my parents died, we have been going through a lot of pains and trouble but I had to always sacrifice myself just to rescue my sister. The house our father left for us was now taken by the bank due to the loan he couldn't complete before he died with my mother in a ghastly motor accident. My immediate Uncle took us to his house although his wife wasn't comfortable with us.     My Uncle never had a child so he took us as his children, he pampered us and took good care of us.
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   Five years later, I turned fifteen. As a lady without a motherly care, I didn't know how to take good care of myself and my uncle's wife refused to assist me. I became so close to my uncle to the point that I always share most of my private and secret life with him. My first menstrual flow, I told my uncle and he assisted me to buy all the necessary sanitary towels and he also showed me how to use them. Life was going smoothly until I turned seventeen, the worst happened.
      One fateful day, I returned back from my Aunty's shop so exhausted, I met a quiet house but my Uncle's car was parked outside and I wondered what would have happened because he never returned from work that early. So I went to his room and I noticed the door was slightly opened so I pushed it and it opened wide. I entered the room and met him shivering.
"Uncle good afternoon. Are you feeling ok? "I asked after greeting
"Afternoon. Am not fine. Please I want you to do something for me" He spake with a shaking voice. With all manner of sincerity, I was ready to do anything to make my Uncle feel better.
"I want you to massage my back " he said and I was surprised but I didn't hesitate so I dropped my bag and I moved close to him on the bed then I started massaging his back in the process, he stopped me and I wondered what i might have done
"Sorry Uncle did I press hard? "I asked ignorantly.
"No my dear. Do you know that I always love you. Each time I set my eyes on you, I see a beautiful angel " he said sitting upright and I adjusted backward. He got up and walk close to me, he started touching me in an indecent manner and I kept moving backward.
"Uncle what are you trying to do? I thought you were not feeling ok?"
"Yes I am still not fine. You are the only one that can make me feel better right now "
"How? "
"I just want us to have fun before your sister and my wife will return "
I knew what he was talking about
"No Uncle I can't "
"Don't be scared I promise to be gentle with you, I will give you everything you want just give me a chance " he said and I could see the devil at work.
"No Uncle you are married and what if Auntie comes back and meet us in the act? " I asked
"She is not coming back right now "
"Uncle please I can't still do this. Besides am a virgin " I pleaded but it felt on deaf ears. He succeeded in raping me. I cried the living day light out of me, I regretted returning back early that day and I felt used
"Wow that was splendid. I will make you enter the university this year. So I will give you money to buy jamb form once it is out. " he spake like a fool.
"I will not forgive you Uncle " I said
"I haven't done anything wrong  darling. Please stop saying that" He tried holding my shoulders but I shrugged.
"Let this be between us, don't tell my wife because she will not believe you. Even your sister should not be aware of this "
I picked up my bag and left his room.
I cried till my Aunty and my sister returned back from the shop that evening. There was no food in the house because I couldn't cook.
"Amandaaaaaaaaa!!!! " my aunty shouted my name from the kitchen. I got up from the floor I was sitting in the room and cleaned my eyes before going out to meet her.
"Auntie welcome " I greeted with a low voice filled with guilt that she could almost not hear me.
"Save your greetings to yourself. Why is there no food in the kitchen? " she asked with so much fury
"I  - I - I - I -" I stuttered, instead of her to just beat me or quarrel me, she called her husband out.
"Honey!  Honey!!! " She called from the parlor
"Yes " the wicked man called my uncle answered her from the room.
"Please come out oo"
My uncle came out looking so innocent and I felt like strangling him right there in front of his wife.
"What's going on? " he asked rubbing his eye
"Honey I told Amanda to return to the house and prepare dinner for the family, but now as I entered the kitchen, all the pots are empty and clean as we left it in the morning " she spake with so much enraged
"Sweetheart calm down. Maybe she forgot and slept off " he covered up
"Did you see when she returned? " my Aunty asked her husband
"Ehmmmmmmm. No. I was in the master bedroom doing some work till I slept off " he lied and fresh tears started flowing out of my eyes. I went on my knees in front of them. I could see the expression on my Uncle's face like a scared baby who just saw a ghost.
"Am sorry Auntie it won't happen again " I pleaded with tears
"Why are you crying? because I have not beaten you " my Aunty asked and I looked at my uncle whose expression was not fathomed.
"Nothing Ma am just so sorry " I said
"Sweetheart accept her apology"
"Ok standup but you have to join me in the kitchen right now let's prepare dinner " my Aunty said
"Yes Auntie. Let me undress I will be joining you soon " I left her and her husband there. As I entered the room, I met my sister holding my blood stained cloth.
"Sister good evening. What happened? "She asked lifting the dress and I ignored her, but she walked down to me still holding the dress.
"Sister you know you can always confide in me. What happened because I know you just saw your period last week so I don't think it started again today. This is the dress you wore earlier today in the shop. Did you injure yourself or did someone injure you? " she asked trying to suspect something.
"Anita you won't understand now because you are still young, but I will tell you everything when you grow up " I gave her a promising smile
"Sister am not a small girl am fifteen. Please tell me " she insisted and the memory of what happened came back and I started crying in her presence.
"Sister you are crying what is it?  Did you wound yourself?  So that we can tell uncle to take you to the hospital " she suggested with so much concern.
I felt like screaming at the top of my voice so that the world will know that am in deep pains. The pains I was going through in my heart was more than sustaining a mere injury. I lost my pride of womanhood to my own uncle.
"Anita pleaseeeeee. I will be fine " I said almost shouting and I walked away, then I got into the bathroom and took a warm bath so that I could be a bit relieved.
"Sister I love you please be rest assured that I really love you and I wish you quick recovery from whatever happened to you " she said standing by the bathroom door
"Ok " that was all I could say. I heard her walking away. I continue crying again and there was no tears again in my eyes. After having my bath I hide the blood stain cloth since there was no time to wash it so I went to the kitchen and joined my Aunty in preparing porridge plantain with carrot for dinner.
When the food was ready, my Aunty dished the food for everybody but because I lost appetite so I told her not to dish the food for me. I could see the confusion on her face.
"Amanda you have been acting weird this evening, first you didn't prepare dinner, second you were crying while apologizing and now you don't feel like eating Why? " my Aunty asked
"Nothing Auntie.  Just don't have appetite for food this evening "
"Since when did this one start? Anyway it's your own cup of tea. Take your uncle's food to the dinning table " she ordered
I took my uncle's tray with food and water to the dining, he was already seated. I dropped the tray about to leave my Aunty entered the dinning.
"Honey your niece doesn't want to eat. She has been acting so weird today. Talk to her " my Aunty complained
"You worry yourself over nothing. I believe she will be fine. She is a big girl. But I will definitely talk to her but now, let us eat "
I left the dining. I returned back to the kitchen and got startled by Anita who sat on the kitchen locker as an ancient Ancestor eating.
"Anita you startled me. Why are you sitting on the locker instead of using the kitchen stool " I forced a smile in my face
"Wuuuuuuuu!!!!!!! I bin think say fear no de do person like you " she used pidgin and we laughed
"Am happy to see you smile again. You are the best Sis" she said
"Thank you for making me smile again. "I thanked her
"You are welcome so come and eat this food is scrumptious "
"No Ani. Am not hungry, I will eat tomorrow " I said and she understood
I washed all the utensils used for cooking then I returned back to the room after washing everything that was dirty.
Later that night, I couldn't sleep I went out to the garden and sat on the little cement bench. I gazed up at the sky and I saw the stars glittering at night. I consoled myself with the saying 'it takes darkness for stars to shine. Without the night, the stars will not be seen'.
"I knew you will be here " I heard my uncle's voice behind me
"Uncle what do you want?  Are you here to rape me again? " I asked defiantly
"No " he sat on the bench and I shifted that there was so much gap between us.
"Then why are you outside? " I asked
"I am here to tell you that am sorry for what happened earlier, don't take it as a crime. I love you Amanda and I will always do. Crying and refusing to eat will never change what we enjoyed. Just act as if it never happened. " he said
"If you are done talking please leave "
"Amanda are you ordering me to leave? "
"Uncle please leave "
"Amanda please it hasn't gotten into that " he refused to leave
"OK Uncle enjoy yourself. Good night "
I got up and left him in the garden.
All through the night, I kept rolling from one side of the bed to another, I hated myself so much.