nine things || lrh

Second Thing

A cold stream of water washed away my exhaustion. Maybe it made me feel more alive for the last time. But it didn't matter anymore.

My life didn't matter anymore. I tried to open my eyes, which was difficult due to the water dropping against my face.

I wanted to forget. I just wished it would never happen.

Would it be easier? For sure.

Would it be otherwise? For sure.

Would it be better? I'm not sure.

Standing naked. Closed in glass walls. I saw a white bathtub. On four gilded legs.

༻✧༺

"It's fucking hot in here" I opened a small window. It was the middle of summer. Hot days were rare here, just as nights.

I threw my sandals against the wall just under the window, which I don't know why I was still holding in my hand.

"How was at work?"

"I hate this place"

I leaned against the bathtub. Filled with water. In which my beloved was sitting.

The water smelled like coconut.

"Please hide them. I don't like that smell."

I sighed as I put down the pack of cigarettes. He never liked me smoking. He always said it was because of the smell of cigarette smoke. But I knew he was lying.

"How was your day?"

I stroked his damp hair. He usually wasn't taking a bath. I didn't take it either. I've always been wondering why the hell we have this bloody bathtub.

"As usual"

"Will you come to our show tomorrow? We're playing at Garry's"

"I can't"

I bit my right index finger. Laying my face on the edge of the cold tub. I looked into his tired blue eyes.

He sighed.

I hated it. I hated saying no to him. I hated failing him.

"Come here"

I got up. I shed my sweaty clothes, leaving them on the gray floor.

Water was cold. Perfect.

I lay down with my back against his chest.

Safe.

He was my safe place.

He was warm. Despite the cold water, his body was still hot.

He stroked my bare belly with his hand. I felt his breath just behind my left ear.

He always knew how to do it. How to calm me down.

I made circles with my finger just above his knee. His pale hair was almost invisible.

"Tomorrow will be better. I promise"

I looked through the window. Darkness.

He believed it. And he wanted me to believe too.

With him by my side, I felt that I could do anything.

༻✧༺

Memories.

Memories. It is something that can be a gift. But it can also be a curse that is killing you.

Mine was killing me.