nine things || lrh

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⚠ trigger warning  ⚠

We did right thing.

We did right thing, keeping the bathtub. It was a good decision.

Everything was ready.

The time has come.

We'll meet again soon. I missed him so much.

Only three days had passed, and it felt like he hadn't been here for half of my miserable life.

Miserable?

It wasn't miserable. At least it ceased to be like that when I met him.

The bathroom smelled like cherry blossom. Candles were burning. Due to my slight vision defect, it seemed as if the flame was blurring.

I was ready.

I put on his favorite lingerie and over it the jacket he was wearing that day.

He would say I look cute in her.

I think I looked sexy in her when I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror.

I'll see him again finally.

Or so I hoped.

I played with the metal rectangle, twirling it between my index finger, thumb and middle finger.

I was already tired, but I didn't know of what.

Life? Job? Everyday activities? Waking up every morning when it struck six o'clock? Maybe the emptiness he left behind? or maybe my emotions was killing me?

I don't know. I didn't want to know.

I climbed into a tub half filled with ice water.

I didn't know how long I would be lying here. Probably till tomorrow after or before Luke's funeral.

But I knew I wanted to look good.

Don't ask. I don't know how the icy water was supposed to help me with that.

I made myself comfortable in the bathtub.

I took the razor blade between my teeth to make it easier for me to roll up the sleeves of the jacket.

I put a metal object to my wrist, closing my eyelids tightly and cutting the thin skin.

I felt a burning sensation and a small rush of blood running down my hand.

I did the same to the other wrist. I released the razor from my fingers, letting it sink into the water which began to turn red.

It fucking hurt.

I felt that I wouldn't last long.

I was starting to feel faint.

I could feel.

How my eyelids grew heavy.

I rested my hands on the edges of the tub. I watched the blood flows down its white walls.

I smiled slightly, knowing that I was getting closer.

The water turned a more intense red color.

I put my left hand up, examining the bloody ring on my ring finger.

I didn't want.

I didn't want to get her dirty.

Forgive me this.

He'll forgive me.

I remembered.

He always said until death do us part. Funny how the situation turned right?

Death that separates.

Now will bring us together.