Emotionless Confessions (Todobaku)

9. Chanceless

Shoto's pov

Bakugou actually asked me to the party, probably just in a friendship way though, right? There's no way Bakugou likes me the same way I like him. What would he even see in me?

"Try that other shirt, Todoroki-kun!" Midoriya is sitting cross-legged on my bed. Out of panic I texted him yesterday night after Bakugou left my room. Midoriya knows I like Bakugou a bit more than I should and he's so much better with.. emotions. I, on the other hand, am horrible at it. My father taught me to hide my emotions and told me to always put on a natural expression. Showing emotions during a battle for example could mess everything up. If someone gets hurt you're not allowed to cry. You have to keep your emotionless expression. Showing weakness is bad. It makes you weak and more vulnerable.

"That suits you better than the other one. Now add some ripped skinny jeans to it and I'll do your hair after!" He seems so excited and I honestly don't know why. I guess it's a little exciting that Bakugou asked me out but I'm more worried than excited.

"My hair? What's wrong with the way it is?"
"It's not brushed, it's sticking out, you probably haven't washed it either."
Hes not right but also not wrong about that. I do take a shower sometimes, I just can't be bothered to always use soap and shampoo. Mostly I just stand under the burning hot water and space out.

"Midoriya, why can't I just wear some simple clothes?"
"Because you like Kacchan and you should hint at it so he figures it out!"
"He just asked me out as a friend though. He doesnt see anything in me. And how are clothes going to show I like him?"
Midoriya frowns and sits more upright. "I dont think thats true. Kacchan has a weird way showing he likes someone. I've never seen him this close to someone. He's close with Kirishima but with you he's just.. different.."
"Hm. If you say so." I dont believe him but I dont want to keep talking about it. Looking at the time I decide to escape the conversation. It's 7.15, enough time for a shower.

"I'm going to take a shower real quick, Midoriya." Before Midoriya can say more about the other topic or reply to what I just said I grab my towel and the skinny jeans I'm supposed to wear before heading to the dorm bathrooms.

.

The bathroom doors make an annoying squeaky sound as I enter. Kirishima and Kaminari are here as well over at the mirrors, probably getting ready as well.

"Im telling you Kami! He almost blew my brains out when I asked him about it!"
They don't seem to have noticed me coming in so I quickly slide in one of the shower stalls, locking it behind me. While I undress i can still hear them talking and without realizing it I start to listen to their conversation.

"Dude you should have dropped the subject the second Bakubro got mad." Its Kaminari. They pissed Bakugou off? I'm not surprised though.
"Like you're one to talk! You always push his buttons more than I do!" Kirishima sighs "But he's my best friend and I was just curious. Him having a crush, that's a big thing to me, dude! I want to give him my amazing love advice!"
...Crush? Bakugou.. likes someone?

"Your love advice? Kirishima, my bro, you're single."

Suddenly the door bursts open, scaring the shit out of me.

"WHATS TAKING YOU EXTRAS SO DAMM LONG?!"
Hearing the blondes booming voice is my sign to turn my attention away from them again. I dont turn on the water yet though, scared they hear it and realize someone has been listening all this time.
Kirishima laughs "Sorry bro, but it looked like you needed some time alone."
"Yea, to fantasize about your mysterious crush"
"IM NOT FANTASIZING ABOUT MY DAMN CRUSH! I DONT LIKE ANYONE!"
He stomps back into the hallway with Kirishima and Kaminari following him.

The second the door closes I turn the shower on, the hot water hitting my back. Water rolls down my face and cheeks but it tastes a bit.. salty? I look down at my shaking hands. Damnit. Not now. So what if Bakugou has a crush? I already knew I would never have a chance with him. There's absolutely no reason to cry about it. Yet the tears won't stop coming. Damn emotions! Damn it all!

My fist collides with the shower wall and I mentally curse at the pain shooting through my hand.
Fuck. It does kind of help tho. Repeating the action over and over again I can feel my hand getting sore and bruised, my knuckles probably bleeding by now. But the tears are slowly coming to a stop. Fuck it all. Fuck this whole party, fuck summer break, fuck emotions and fuck this stupid crush.

Hello hello! I am so sorry for taking so long to update! And I'm sorry for all the angst, next chapter will be much better, I promise!