Tantamount

Family

Song: Familiar Ground - The Cinematic Orchestra// Take Yours-Matthew Mole// Salvation - Gabrielle Aplin

After my shower there was a knock on my door. It was Moblit and he had explained Erwin wanted to see me. I stood in front of Erwin's door feeling anxious. I knew according to Hange i did well at the expedition, yet i stood there scared of what was to come.

I took a deep breath trying to calm my anxious heart and knocked on the door.

"State name and business"

"(y/n)... i was told to meet you in your office"

I heard the sound of a chair moving and steps. The door opened revealing that famous blond man. He smiled and signaled me to come in.

"Please take a seat"

The first thing i noticed was Levi leaning against the wall on the left and then there was Hange with a funny smile on her face sitting in a couch on the right side of the room. I took a seat on the chair in front of the commanders desk and he sat down at his chair. I crossed my arms feeling anxious but not wanting to show it.

"I've been reading mission reports and i have to say, you did well (y/n)."

"Thank you sir" I relaxed a little bit.

"You have talent and you showed you can think fast in moments of pressure. This was only your first mission and i already know you'll get better and better with each mission."

I raised and eyebrow while i examined his face. Sure he was saying nice stuff but this was the classic thing people did right before they asked for a favor. The commander laughed seeming to know what i was thinking.

"I would like to see how well you would work under Levi's supervision. I would like you to go on an expedition with his squad and see if you fit. Levi and I already know you have the skills."

I looked at Levi "Do you want me to be a part of your squad? I'm still getting the grasp of how authority works here but i know no matter how much Erwin wants me as part of your squad it probably wont work well if you don't want me there."

"You're talented and coolheaded. I want you on my squad."

I smiled at his remark. Probably the nicest thing he has or will ever say to me. I looked back at Erwin "Okay then, you got it boss." i smirked.

"Good. Another thing we need to address is your family." My body tensed up and noticing this the commander chuckled.

"Relax (y/n) they are fine. Just as promised, you will get to see them. I was thinking you could take what's left of the day to rest and prepare for tomorrow, you'll have the whole day tomorrow to be with your family and you'll be returning before midnight. Levi will be going with you."
I smiled and tried to contain my excitement. I felt like jumping around maybe do a little happy dance. "You kept your promise eyebrows. Thank you" He nodded.

"Now get some rest. Levi will prepare your horses tomorrow morning."

"Thank you eyebrows. Goodnight Hange and Goodnight Cap i'll see ya in the morning"

I heard a couple of goodnight's but my tired feet quickly dragged me out of eyebrows office and into my room. As soon as I got to my bed I passed out, the exhaustion from all the training I've been enduring these days hit me like a thousand bricks.

~~Next Morning~~

For the first time in forever my body woke itself up before the sun was even up. I took a shower, brushed my hair while it was still damp. Today I was leaving my hair down. By the time I was finished getting dressed soft waves adorned my hair. I rushed down the stairs not even bothering to eat anything. As I was making my way to the main door that led outside I was startled by that now familiar voice.

"Where do you think you're going soldier?"

"Ah! damn it, why are you so sneaky?"

He took a few steps closer

"Relax I wasn't gonna run off. I figured you might not be awake yet and was going to prepare the horses so we could leave as soon as you woke up."

"The horses are ready. Did you eat?"

This question caught me by surprise.

"No...but i'll be fine we can eat when we get there"

he ignored me and went to the kitchen.

I followed.

He started making tea and i couldn't help but stare. The way his hands danced around in perfect harmony, delicate yet firm, the peculiar way he carried cups...
Then my eyes traveled towards his face. The seemingly frown that was forever stuck on his face but was now slightly more relaxed as his concentration was on the tea, i saw the tiredness that adorned his eyes and i wondered of the things he must have gone through, the things he has seen but mostly the loss..that's it, he looked like a man who has lost everything and yet here he was still standing, still alive.

"You're staring again"

i smiled and looked down slightly embarrassed for i had surely stared for a bit too long. "Sorry i got lost in thought."

He silently handed me a cup of tea and I closed my eyes as the steam warmed my face. As soon as the liquid reached my lips i felt comfort and for once i let my muscles relax. When I opened my eyes I was met with his eyes as he was scanning my face. He quickly looked away and finished drinking his cup. I didn't think much of it. I finished eating some bread as we stood in the kitchen in silence. At least it was a comfortable silence and i appreciated that. Conversations and small talk are easy to have but comfortable silence is a rare treasure. We left quickly and as our horses took off I felt anxious to see my family again. I wondered how they were doing, if they were safe, did they see the sky? ever since I've been outside I constantly get distracted by it. Levi has often (way too often) smacked the back of my head to get my attention back to training or cleaning but I couldn't help it. Everyday the sky had something completely new to show.

The horses hooves hitting the ground was the only sound that accompanied us, that and the drumming sound of my heart beating faster with every step our horses took. My hands gripped my reins tighter as my chest also felt compressed.

"Are you nervous?" His voice broke my roller coaster of thoughts and I nearly jumped out of my horse.

"Do you wait for the perfect moments to startle me?"

"Don't avoid my question with another question."

I let out a big sigh "Yes... we've all been together for so long. If I'm being honest, It's been hard to be away from my family." I smelled sadly.

He looked at me and for once his face showed something more than a scowl or a blank slate. Sympathy I think.