Broken But Brutally

Chapter- 22

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"Because I want you to be my friend Sana. I'm just done being alone for all these years and now I need a friend not for my benefits or sexual desires but, with whom I can share my sorrow and grief over my miseries. With whom I can share my delight as well as toast over my success..." Suddenly there was a sharp silence that invaded around them.

Sana looked at Siddhant and then again looked down digesting every single word that left his mouth. She was still confused about what to feel, she should be happy that her husband wanted to start all over from friendship or should be angry at the fact that he was trying to get over her nerves with his dominating ways.

But that wasn't the case that hit her nerves. "Are you listening to yourself?", She almost wisphered.

"Yes, Sana I want to start all over let's start with the friendship", he wakes with a spark within his adorable eyes. Sana wanted to get lost within them but this wasn't a time.

"And may I have a reasoning?", Sana asked little sharp than what she intended to.

The confusion was written all over his face, 'exactly what is the reason behind this whole arrengment?' he thought to himself. he didn't do anything to trigger her anger. Wasn't he civil and calm right now? For the fact, even He couldn't believe how love-sick he was behaving. He didn't knew the stages of such evolution happened into him, he was never into making decent or civil conversation with women let alone holding their hands and kissing there temple.

But today, he was going beyond his real self. The Siddhant Shukla who was nothing but a hubristic austeric buisnessman was all the way feeling guilty and sympathetic at the same time for a women he hate and it's passive. He knew his demeanor was bending too much towards Sana for his own good, but, he couldn't help the bubbling up feeling into his stomach whenever they're close. He cannot ignore the pit inside his stomach whenever she is upset, he cannot let go the feeling that hit his cheeks whenever she smiles.

Their togetherness feels like charging and euphoric at the same time. Increases in dopamine and norepinephrine also lead to the number of feeling inside him like pleasure, giddiness, nervousness, excitement and so many at the same time.

Today whole day into his office he was keeping an eye on Sana, and he was impressed by her hard work was understatement. The way she work with determination and at the same time host the big team with grace and sophistication make it nothing easy for him to resist her. He always thought that she wasn't capable of making such a big position in company without spreading legs, but her determination was a tight slap to all those filthy convictions.

Being with her is an unexpressible feeling, it's like somewhere in the middle of nowhere into the vast ocean, If anyone ask Siddhant to describe what being with Sana feels like? he will describe something that sounds like sexual passion and desire tinged with obsession. As far as his genes are concerned, sexual desire is where it's at, and it's a strong drive, so after a brush with passion he might find himself saying, 'I thought I was infatuated, but it wasn't any simple attraction but just lust maybe.'

And then there is the niggling difference between acting in a caring way versus being a caring spouse. The former is about being active. It encompasses what he mean when he say that being in a good relationship takes work, for example friendship. Whereas being civil yet warm relationship tends to sound passive, something we fall into, over which we have no control. Perhaps it even happens at first sight. But, he's very well aware of his own jurisdiction into his self judicial Court that's 'never ever fall for opposite gender! Love is way too out in Siddhant Shukla's reach!' this are the mantras he tend to pull whenever near Sana.