𝐄𝐏𝐇𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐖𝐈𝐒𝐇 | 儚き願い

三十 | 𝟑𝟎𝐓𝐇 𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑

[𝐕𝐨𝐥𝐮𝐦𝐞 𝟑] - 𝟑𝟎𝐭𝐡 𝐅𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫

─────

❝𝑾𝒂𝒊𝒕❞

· ✦────✧◦ 儚き願い ◦✧────✦ ·

𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑬𝑫 𝑼𝑷 𝑨𝑻 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑴𝑨𝑺𝑺𝑰𝑽𝑬 𝑺𝑯𝑬𝑳𝑭 𝑶𝑭 𝑩𝑶𝑶𝑲𝑺, 𝒀𝑶𝑼𝑹 𝑯𝑨𝑵𝑫𝑺 𝑫𝑹𝑨𝑮𝑮𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑻𝑯𝑬𝑴𝑺𝑬𝑳𝑽𝑬𝑺 𝑨𝑪𝑹𝑶𝑺𝑺 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑩𝑰𝑵𝑫𝑰𝑵𝑮𝑺 𝑶𝑭 𝑬𝑨𝑪𝑯 𝑶𝑵𝑬. Your nails scraped against the slightly chipped and aged covers, letting small chalked-up pieces of dust build from under your nails that you flicked away. You gently rested your head against the shelf. Your forehead grew slightly cold from the untouched wooden boards but you closed your eyes shut.

You were welcomed by the sweet sense of darkness that you had grown accustomed to, the emptiness that was your feelings at the forefront of your thoughts as you resisted the urge to lean against the shelf.

What happened the other day? You asked yourself. How could you be so foolish and ignorant to your own surroundings, that you exposed yourself to Sohma Kyo? Out of all people that could have witnessed your pitiful state and stopped you, why did it have to be him? You bit down on the bottom of your lip in frustration.

Were you that easily swayed by the opinion of someone else, mainly because you lacked the ability to think for yourself? Was this the reason you lost control of your own body, subjecting others to the horrors that you possessed from within? How many times must you listen to Akito's words? You didn't quite understand his influence over your life. You had barely met a couple of times and you already found yourself trapped in his webs. Everything he said constantly buzzed in your ear like a fly that would never leave you.

You grit the bottom of your teeth, raising your hand to grip the crown of your head. The weight of your own problems and insecurities were beginning to grow heavier as you thought about them. With the ticking of the clock ringing behind you, you couldn't focus on your own thoughts.

You tightly squeezed your eyes, trying to shut them despite already being closed. Your face scrunched up in disgust as you nearly bit the tip of your tongue from crying out a frustrated shout. What was Kyo going to do with that scene? Was he going to tell everyone around you about what happened? What about Motoko? What are they going to say about you? Was she going to spread rumors about you to tarnish your own reputation? Were you about to be outcast by all your friends at this point?

Are they going to look at you differently? Are they going to be afraid when they talk to you? Will they remember that single moment where you slipped up? When you wrapped your hands around Motoko's neck, will they remember that? When you pressed your nails against her pale skin, squeezing her windpipe with as much force as you can muster, will they remember that? When you raised your fist, high above your head as your (e/c) eyes narrowed, screaming at yourself internally, will they remember that as well?

Was it worth explaining anymore? You thought pitifully, almost laughing at yourself as you failed to notice the pair of steps coming closer to your figure. Was it even worth explaining to everyone the truth about you? Would they treat you differently, like they would if they found out?

Crap. . . You said to yourself. If word got out. . . your reputation would be ruined.

You nervously bit the bottom of your lips. You could feel your body tremble violently as you raised your hand to cover your mouth. Everything around you felt warped like a dream, the walls of your heart beginning to cave in to the pressure. It was a dream that was never-ending and constantly changing directions like the wind. One that brushed against the nape of your neck like a cold whisper.