City of Light

Deux.

Deux.

[ADRIEN] 

Frankfurt, Germany.

"A few hours and we're in Paris!" Colin said, and the rest of the group cheered.

All of us boarded the train that will take us straight to Paris from here, Frankfurt, Germany. They're a group of five Australians, three boys and two girls, backpacking in Europe, like me. They are all in their late twenties, almost a decade older than me. I met them in Frankfurt last week, they were my roommates in a hostel that I stayed in. They were all friends and I was the only stranger in the room, a kid compared to them to top it off, but they treated me like one of their own. And when I got sick with flu, they nursed me back to health. From then on, I stuck with them for the rest of my trip in Germany.

"How long have you been on the road, anyway, Noah?" Colin asked me as the train started to move. We took a night trip so that we could use the 8-hour trip to sleep and the other four are already settling for the night.

Ah, right. Noah, yung pekeng pangalang binigay ko sa kanila.

"Almost two years." I answered him.

"Man, that's bonkers! Our one-month leave from work was hard to get and you get to fool around Europe for two years? Aren't you supposed to be in college?"

"I took a leave of absence during the second semester of my freshman year."

"And you're returning next semester?"

Hindi ako nakasagot kaagad.  Ayoko pang bumalik. Going back means facing the things I ran away from two years ago. But I can't keep running away forever.

I took a deep breath. "Yeah."

"Wow. And your oldies don't mind?" Hindi ko sinagot 'yon and I guess Colin took my silence as a 'yes'. "I don't get it, where do you even get the money to travel in Europe?" Humikab siya at mukhang malapit na siyang makatulog.

I shrugged. "I just... got some money."

Colin nodded and he began dozing off.

I looked outside, it was dark and I can't see anything except darkness. I looked back to where I've been for the last two years. Unlike other backpackers, I stay in a particular place for weeks instead of mere days. I sleep on cheap hostels and work part-time jobs so I won't run out of money.

I stay away from popular tourist spots. I stay in the countrysides, I blend in with the locals, I get immersed in their way of life. But I never get too attached, I never let anyone close enough, I avoid connections at all cost, because after a few weeks, I leave. On to the next place, on to the next destination. But everywhere I go, I use a fake name and a fake identity, like with Colin and the other guys. Why? So I become another person every time. So I don't bring a piece of my old life to the places I go to. And because when I leave, I also don't take a piece of that place back.