Silent Hearts

Three

"Because she was the warrior, who fought for her heart, protecting it from the world outside..."

***

The silence that reverberated through the cream-painted walls of the living room felt a little heavier for Tushar as he sat tight-lipped, his mind wondering if he had chosen the right words to say to Mrs Roy. In haste to console his crying aunt, who is more a mother to him, in a hurry to soothe her pain, to reassure her...had he uttered the right words? Tushar could not even contemplate why for heaven's sake he had said something like that without even thinking straight. All he knew...at that time, some moments ago, Naitee's pleas and her mother's cries ruled over his heart. He couldn't...he did not think straight at all.

However, could he now take back what he had uttered?

Tushar wanted to scream his dilemma out to the world...most especially to that shrewd woman. Just because of her, everyone was tensed. What did she think? Was she the only one behind miseries? Was she the only one in pain? How cruel if she was to think like that. How cruel had she become, couldn't she see how her mother had been hurting.

Tushar drooped his head, his entwined fingers resting on his thighs as his eyes felt heavy indicating the amount of tiredness he had built up within these two days. His cup of once steaming tea had now become as cool as water, and Tushar was yet to take a sip. He eyed that cup of tea wishing he had consumed it earlier yet not regretting his now cold beverage for his aunt.

"I am...bringing you another cup Tushar."

The much lower voice of Mrs Roy reached his ears, cutting over the silence that disturbed them both. Tushar wanted to refuse, there was no need for her to warm up the remaining tea in the kettle or certainly no need for her to prepare another cup for him. He was fine with having that previous cup too. However, he knew Mrs Roy was not someone who would listen to his thoughts; and just the next arriving couple of minutes, Tushar found another cup of tea before him.

"Where is uncle?" Tushar asked, furrowing his eyebrows, referring to Mr Roy who he had not seen since his arrival, a questioning stare towards the inside.

"He went outside minutes before you arrived. We are out of groceries for now and you will have your dinner here." She said as well as instructing Tushar for having dinner with them, her smiling face with puffy eyes saddened him, yet confused him; how cool could she act? Crying for one child and smiling for the other?

"Achha. Uh...how is Nandini?", Tushar had to ask even if he did not want to, not a bit but it was also his family, and he was bound to ask about her...after all, he had been the one to bring her back.

"Silent as usual Tushar. Can you go to her, she is on the...terrace." Mrs Roy had to think for a second to recall the last time where she had seen her and it was near the stairs. She hadn't seen Nandini return, leading her to conclude she was there only.

Tushar nodded, ever so slowly. He wished he could just roam around the house talking with Mrs Roy or uncle, or his Naitee, but there was no way he wished to be near Nandini. How could he admit that even the slightest sight of her made him nervous and uncomfortable...and that too, in a bad way? It had been years since he had been in terms with the Roys, or since he had been constantly around them on every occasion like their son, except for the two years he was in Bengaluru when he was new in the job, he, nevertheless, had continued to arrive the city of joy during his break...still, he never became comfortable with Nandini. It might be the reason that he had never really tried to have a decent conversation with her? God knew better.