Boy Toy <<slow updates>>

1

"You don't mind, do you?" Megan's voice echoed in the empty room. I looked down to the end of the double bed to see her crouching, one arm keeping her balanced and the other holding up a cigarette. I shook my head, allowing her to light up the death stick.

I rubbed my eyes as fatigue began to settle in, I refused to sleep though. Megan very rarely stayed long enough for us to talk.

The morning sunlight flowed in from the window to my right, the curtains pulled back as far as they could go. The wooden floor was completely clear except for a few items of clothing that had been thrown to their current positions sometime throughout the early morning meet up. My cream coloured walls seemed to almost glow, they reflected light so well, and I thanked myself for the few posters I had put up which took away some of the glare. To be completely honest, my room looked pretty 'Tumblr' right now. I decided against taking a photo.

The room seemed to not be the most photogenic thing this early in the morning. Megan sat on my bed, legs crossed, dressed in one of my t-shirts and a pair of undies. Her hair was long, blonde and completely straight, her almost grey eyes sparkled. The smoke pouring from between her lips seemed to only compliment her look.

"You want one?" She asked, lifting the cigarette up to show what she was suggesting too. I smiled but shook my head; she did this after every time. Ask if it was ok to smoke, start smoking then offer me one. I had made it clear once that I was ok with her smoking and wished to not participate in the activity, that she could stop asking. It became obvious to me that she wouldn't follow my request three days later when she lay in my bed, giggling as if high before asking if it was alright. I could ask her again to stop asking, but I won't.

It was here as I lay on my bed, the boring black sheets sitting just above my hips, that I wondered yet again what ruined our friendship. Was intercourse an automatic no-friend thing? Perhaps knowing what I look like below the belt made conversation awkward for her. I wasn't going to ask why. That would cause deep conversations and I don't think either of us wanted that.

I remember asking her what we were once; it was a few months ago. 'You're my booty call, Ashton!' She had exclaimed. 'My stress reliever, my boy toy.' and when asked why me, she responded simply with 'I trust you.' I like to remember the last part; the first few bits hurt my heart. To be fair, she was drunk. I've told myself multiple times in the past that I meant more to her then that. I know what she said was true. I am her boy toy. I would never admit that out loud though.

My band mates were very aware of the situation. I insisted it was fine before trying to change the subject but it would always end in me being laughed at how whipped I was. Except for Luke, he often found me away from the others and suggested I stop chasing her. 'You're just going to get hurt.' He had told me. Of course he was right, I am going to get hurt, but I keep telling myself otherwise.

"Any particular reason for this morning?" I said, leaning my head back on my arms. She blew out a puff of smoke before giving me an obviously fake smile.

"Remember Jake?" She asked. I nodded solemnly, he was her boyfriend. "Well, turns out he's a cheating asshole."

I didn't say anything, just frowned. I found the situation quite amusing actually. They never had a stable relationship, fighting minimum twice a week. And after every fight, I would get a knock on the door from Megan, her face red from frustration before she did what she had come over to do.

I watched as she rolled over, awkwardly flopping on her back with her legs dangling off the edge. Her fingers, nails painted with a black so dark, Satan himself would shiver, twisted the now shorter cigarette around in half circles. Her eyebrows were pulled together in a thoughtful face. She went to speak but stopped herself.

"What?" I asked with a small laugh, her facial expressions always amused me. She rolled on to her side, leaning on her elbow, a bright smile on her face.

"Stop laughing at me, I was thinking!" she said while laughing, grabbing a pillow and attempting to throw it at me. I blocked it easily and sat it on my lap, now sitting up and resting my arms on it.

"What were you thinking about?" I asked, still smiling. She breathed in another lungful of poisoned air and blew it back out again before answering.

"Just considering my options." She said, an almost smirk on her lips. "I think I should stop dating for a while."

I nodded slowly in thought before smiling at her.

"You said that last time too, you know." Her nose scrunched up. "I swear to god, boys are so stupid! I hate them! Never again!" I quoted her in a girly voice, her laughter filling the room once again.

"You're funny, Irwin." She said as she sat up, pushing her hair back with her hand and standing up. I watched in awe as she collected her items from around the room.

I wondered what I could say to get her to stay. I could ask for a smoke. No, then I'd have to smoke. Or maybe suggest for another round? No, I didn't want to do that either. Maybe I could tell her how I feel...

Like that's ever going to happen.

"Have you and Jake officially break up?" I asked, half to stall her and half to fill the silence.

"Not yet, gotta do that this afternoon." She said, slightly out of breath after pulling on her ripped white jeans. She looked at me, a look of complete seriousness on her face as she pointed to the t-shirt of mine she had on. "I'm keeping this until next time."

"What? No, you're not." I told her. She crossed her arms, trying not to smile as she attempted to look intimidating. I did the exact same thing back. Eventually I gave in, deciding that her in my shirt would mean her having to see me again to return said shirt. "Fine." I scoffed. She smiled widely as she pulled on her shoes.

"I’ll return it whenever." She walked over and pressed a kiss against my cheek. "See ya!" she exclaimed as she walked out of my room. I yelled a good bye back and listened for the door to slam.

It took only a second to feel the loneliness that filled the house. My room appeared darker and I considered getting up to go see people and do things before deciding against it, falling backwards until my head hit the pillow. I gave in to the fatigue and smiled as I drifted off to sleep.