Survivors

Chapter 13: Broken

A/N : Warning, this chapter contains scene of self harm. 

"Hey, what are you doing out here? I thought we had gotten passed sleeping on the roof?"

Jeremiah stepped out his daughters bedroom window, not having heard Kara in a while. She had been shaken obviously as they all had, by the events and the Danvers watched her for a possible panic attack, but Kara had seemed to take the whole thing in stride. Alex was downstairs on the couch, Eliza feeding her Tylenol and keeping a bag of ice on her head, while Clark poked and prodded her to get attention. While it could have been a lot worse, the girl still had a good bump on the head from Kara taking her to the ground and covering her.

"Is Alex okay?" Kara asked, continuing to look at the stars.

"Yeah, her little headache is going away. She has been bugging me to come get you, wondering why you aren't with her? Was it the noise today? Are you having one of those feelings? You promised to tell me or Eliza if you started to sweat or get nervous, remember? We can take some deep breaths and count backwards. You can try to explain those crazy equations you know that I will never have a chance of understanding."

"I feel fine. I've been listening to Alex's heartbeat. She is relaxing. I should have cushioned her head when I knocked her over."

Jeremiah shook his head and frowned. "Kara, you saved her life. If you hadn't been there, she would be dead."

"She was only there because I wanted her to go. She didn't want to go." the blonde countered.

Jeremiah shook his head. "Eleven kids were injured, three with burns and eight with broken bones and burns. You know who wasn't injured? Your sister. She came home with a slight headache because of you. This isn't really about Alex's head, is it?"

"I could have saved them all. I hesitated. I ...if no one had been there, I could have gotten the woman and child out, I could have ripped open the roof of the car. I could have grabbed the power line and moved it away from the gasoline so nobody would be injured. I should have been smart enough and fast enough to save them all. But I couldn't. I froze. There were too many people around and I knew if I did save them everybody would have known that I was different. Clark and your family will always be my first priority. I do not regret that. I could not take the chance, but I should have done something. I should have figured out a way without exposing myself or us. I...I almost couldn't save Alex. I ...froze? I was so surprised, even though it seemed like it was happening in slow motion, I ...I almost did not get to Alex in time. She was right next to me but I had plenty of time, I should have. The metal hit me. I was almost too late to save her. And then I had and I wanted to make sure she was okay, then I remembered."

Kara's face was stoic, calm, her emotions only given away by her trembling lip that she occasionally bit.

"For a moment I had forgotten. I saw inside the car. I saw the look on the mother's face.I saw the baby's face before the blast. I am fast. I have never shown you how fast I really am. None of you have seen it but I am fast. Why was I so slow? Alex could have been killed because I didn't move and she was right next to me. I should have saved the lady and baby, grabbed Alex and ran. I should have taken the power line and moved it away before anyone noticed. I think I could have. I think I would have been fast enough...to do it without anyone knowing."

"Kara, we don't know what effect electricity has on you and I don't want to find out. As hard as this is to understand, you did everything you could have done. You saved Alex. That was more than a lot of kids would have been able to do."

"I should have saved everyone. I wasn't smart enough to figure out a way but there had to be a way."

Jeremiah sighed and took her hand. "Kara, no one person can save everyone, not even you."