Survivors

Chapter 33: Solitude

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"So before we connect with Jeremiah and Eliza, tell me about the first week of school." Jessica told the girls. They had taken their posts in front of the camera that would soon connect them with their parents and both were a bit nervous. It was Sunday night, and Alex's fears about Kara's state of mind after Barry Allen left on a train to Central City were somewhat allayed. The blonde still seemed happy, riding on a high almost, but Alex knew from much personal experience the wrong topic or tone in therapy and Kara would come crashing down hard.

Alex took a breath and decided to start. Kara never started, taking a back seat to her in these sessions at times, which is why they had stopped having as many sessions together after a while.

"I had a good week. Classes were fine, if a bit boring. I didn't have any trouble getting around campus.The facilities looked great. The people seemed friendly enough. All in all, it was about what I expected."

"And how do you like the city, being away from home for the first time?"

Alex shrugged her shoulders. "It wasn't like I was lonely. I had my sunny blonde next to me, keeping me company and bringing home stray kittens that tore up our couch but whatever. It was good. I like the apartment. It's a lot of room, more room than Kara and I are used to for ourselves and the view is great."

Jessica seemed happy with this answer. At least she had answered truthfully even if she did skirt around issues like Kara's near panic attacks, and her self harm attempts, namely shooting herself in the shoulder as the older sister had told Jess in their one on one session last night.

"Kara? What about you?"

"I think you know how the first week went for me." Kara told her, somewhat embarrassed.

"Okay, how did your time with the boy this weekend go? We haven't talked about it."

The blonde shrugged her shoulders. "It was great. I really liked him. We kissed. I had never thought that would happen for me. He even kissed me goodbye at the bus station before he left. It was amazing but it...also..."

Kara stopped and as Alex suspected, the smile that had been on her face most of the day was slowly cracking.

"It also made me realize what I could have had if I had just been human. If I had been born here. If I wasn't so strong and my life wasn't so complicated. I have dragged Alex into this and what if she never gets to have a real relationship because she is so focused on what we are doing, what we have to face and it isn't fair, not to her and not to me. It just isn't fair." Kara finished.

Neither one said a word, waiting to see if the blonde would compose herself or break down. Kara shook her head and placed a fake smile back on her face.

"Sorry. It was great, I had a great time and I really liked him. He might actually call me but I don't know if I should answer. I am not sure if I should lead him on. He is such a sweet guy and cute and has so much ahead of him. He has enough issues with his father in prison and being involved with me would only bring him down. Plus he lives so far away. He would, he would wait for me, its the kind of guy he is, but it wouldn't be fair of me to ask. I wouldn't."

Jess mets Alex's eyes for a moment and saw the resignation in them. They had both thought this was good for Kara and while she experienced much joy this weekend, with Allen gone, the loneliness was setting back in.

"So if he lived in National City, you wouldn't see him again?" the therapist asked. Kara actually had a small smile grace her face.

"It would be hard not to, but eventually it would end. One day everyone close to me could be a target. Enough people know my secret. Enough people have almost died because of me."