Survivors

Chapter 40: Supergirl

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From the personal journal of Dr. Jessica Ryan

Notes from therapy session 3-17

Kara continues to make improvements in some aspects of her life. Since coming back from Fortress and time with Clark she has appeared more calm and confident. The reckless behavior that rose when she first moved to National City has seemed to lessen. She has reported no instances of self harm or suicidal thoughts since her return.

Kara is still intent on trying to manipulate Luther and use him to her advantage, despite warnings of loved ones not to. She disagrees that she is too young and emotionally fragile to play head games with someone in his league. This can only cause harm. Despite her desire to please her family, in particular her father, she has become more stubborn, believing her decisions are being done for the good of everyone. She believes protests from others are either a sign of a lack of faith or needless attempts to protect her. Therefore she is determined to follow through on whatever she feels is necessary. Her sister can no longer talk her out of reckless actions and instead follows along to protect Kara from herself, which will place them both in danger.

Kara has indicated she will be making public appearances soon when the right time presents itself. In my opinion she is in no way ready for the consequences of this action, even if taking out the fallout from the escapees who wish to kill or capture her. She is not ready to face her Aunt and Uncle. She is not ready for the pressures and scrutiny the world will place on her and should she fail to save someone, could easily slip back into self destructive behavior or suicidal thoughts. Kara has not had a panic attack in over a year and believes these are past her. She refuses to acknowledge that all the underlying problems are still there waiting to surface with the right triggers. She has spent her time on Earth doing everything she can to blend in, even hide in the background of life, staying away from attention. Now the world's attention will be on her. This is in itself could be a trigger that brings about more self destructive behavior. New concerns have been added, such as a red room she is obsessed with and the discovery of alien bars and alien alcohol. Substance abuse had never been a concern in her case before. If the pressure of National City is too much, may begin discussing with all involved Kara moving back to former location. The instability of moving to National City has caused her to fall back to behaviors she had made headway in beating and has given rise to more reckless, dangerous and potentially deadly actions.

Since returning from Fort she has been friendlier and seemingly more light hearted. Not going to college this semester may have something to do with this. She has spent most of the day in the Red Room at base, training against multiple opponents or at home, staying in communication and searching for targets using her new toy. The knowledge and technology she possesses combined with her raw power gives her almost god like ability without the maturity to handle it. I believe right now she is experiencing a calm before a storm that she is not aware is coming.

Kara confessed that she had asked her new toy to find Barry A. Barry A was found in a Central City coffee shop along with a female identified as Iris West. She saw he was smiling and cut the feed. Kara claimed she was happy he had moved on and appeared happy. I do not believe this is the case but getting her to admit that it isn't is futile. She has also been spying on Luther despite my numerous suggestions not to attempt to play games with him.

The biggest concern with Kara going public is her temper. Her rage would be a more apt description. When I first met her, her face was vulnerable, sad, even when seemingly happy and she cried often. Over the years, her tears have lessened but her eyes have hardened. She has grown into a beautiful young woman but her smile hides the repressed emotions she has bottled up inside her. She has killed twice with no remorse. She feels tremendous amounts of guilt over the death of the mother and child when she was 13, over surviving Krypton while so many others died, over the lives lost because of the prison she believes she brought here and lives lost because of her birth family. Yet in regards to her enemies, she feels absolutely nothing but hate and attacks with no mercy, intending to kill. If she is forced to kill her aunt the damage will be catastrophic. While she has never had a dissociative personality, the two sides of her psyche are becoming more extreme. The farther apart she splits, the greater chance of a violent episode in public. It is more important now than ever that she control herself. Therapy continues every night and family therapy every third night. Focus will remain on anger management and discussing her mothers message with her, something Kara has refused to elaborate on besides our talk on the first night at Fort.