Merthur One-shots

Paint My Spirit Gold

SMUT WARNING

Summary:  “We do not decide the conventions of the earth and its workings. Let me say my piece.” She scolded, like a mother trying to explain something to a child. Merlin swallowed, knowing Arthur hated being told what to do. “The ritual is one of love and your sacrifice will be of pride and superiority.”

“What is it I must do?” Arthur asked, becoming impatient.

“Not you alone.” She nodded towards Merlin, “Both of you.”

“Me?” Merlin asked, confused.

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Don't touch me. 

I use it for you, Arthur, only for you. 

This is treason. 

You can punish me later, but right now I just need you to listen. Let me help you please. 

...Do you think you deserve to be punished? 

That's not for me to decide, is it?

How can I trust you?

Because it's me Arthur, I'm the same person I've always been.

But you're not… I don't think you'll ever be the same to me. 

***

Merlin wakes with a start. His heart hammers in his chest just as it did on that terrible day, weeks ago now. Arthur had never actually scared him until that moment. It wasn't that Merlin knew he could be put to death for openly using sorcery, but that he knew he would probably lose Arthur. 

Not only was he sure he'd lose Arthur but he'd also lost his best friend that day. The memories haunted him. Gwen's screams, her blood running through his fingers as he tried to seal the wound. The way she touched his face so gently even though she was the one who's life was slipping away. 

"Merlin." She'd said, "Stop." As he tried to heal her with his magic. The magic had been no match for a sword forged in a dragon's breath. He knew that but he could not accept it. 

"It's too late." She'd whispered. 

"No, stay with me alright? I'm going to get you to Gaius." 

"No." She whispered, tears running down her face. "No I need you to listen." She’d said weakly. 

"Gwen." He pleaded, eyes filling with tears. Gwen smiled sadly sweeping away the first loose tear to roll down his cheek. 

"Make him understand." She said firmly. "Make him hear you. Make him listen. Tell him I said he has to." They both huffed out a sad laugh at that. "He knows in his heart, that you could never be a monster. Just as I did." 

"You'll tell him yourself." Merlin said, voice wavering. She ignored him and kept talking. 

"No. Merlin. You go. You take care of yourself. You protect him just as you've always done. You let him take care of you, just like he took care of me. I won't be around so you'll need to fill that hole, with your love and your light. I know you can, there's no one quite like you, with as good a heart as yours."