Inner War

After sinning..

When she was getting ready for school, she felt really tired.
She picked out some sweatpants and a hoodie to wear. It covered her body and she weighed herself, right before putting it on.

She gained 2 lbs from last night.
The workout didn't help as much as she though it would..

She decided instead of riding the bus, she would walk to school. She knew a short cut so that she could get there on time. Plus, she was up early so she had time to walk. She couldn't let her mom know. Her mom was usually asleep when she left, so it was fine.

She walked out the door and walked too school. She was in Advisory, still thinking about her binge. She found out it was a binge, because she watched some YouTube videos on how to stop it on the way to school.

She didn't like what they had to say though. Instead she ate less. 500 a day, instead of 600.
But that didn't help.
She was in 7th grade math, and 7th grade ELA. Math was 1st period. All the number connected to something. BMI, BF%, Weight, A goal weight, measurements, goal measurements, calories, etc..
She kept making those connections. Second period was Social Studies.
There were less numbers, but she couldn't stop thinking about it, even then.

She had art third period. Next up was lunch. She threw away her lunch before hand. She couldn't accept anything from Izzy. She had to say she wasn't hungry. She had to.

She kept herself from eating breakfast of lunch. She had dinner with her mom and dad.
She kept binging everynight. Sometime in late-march, who remembers the exact day?, her mom confronted her about the food missing. She said to never do it again.

From then on, Aisah started stealing money to go buy her own food to binge on. All stuff she could hide in her room. She started gaining weight again.
She gained 10 lbs, 15 lbs, 20 lbs, 25 lbs, 30 lbs. She couldn't stop.
Eventually, she became overweight.
She was eating constantly, and could stop.

One day, she had enough. If she couldn't stop eating, she would have to make up for eating.
Obviously working out didn't help enough.
She increased her workouts again and again. They got harder and harder to do as she gained.
She snuck to the bathroom one day, when her mom wasn't home. She opened the toilet lid, and decided to stick her fingers down her throat.

That's how it happened. That how it all started. Everything was downhill after this.

She second time she "accidentally" turned on the fan thingy that you use when you take a shower.
The third, when she was about to take a shower.

She found a way to make it quieter, and started to do that everytime. One time she was almost caught.
She told her mom that she thought she had the flu. Her mom stared at her in disbelief, but then walked away and called her in sick.

Aisah decided to be more careful, and make sure that there was a lot of things going on when she did it.

It was working for weightloss. It wasn't as effective, but it was better than nothing.