back, again | prince caspian

nineteen

Once we followed Lucy and the twins to wherever she was leading them, I noticed Susan and Peter excusing themselves from the group. They had received a summons from Aslan, and my heart raced with curiosity about what important matters could be at hand. Deep down, I dreaded the thought that it was about us leaving Narnia again.

Left with Lucy, Edmund, and the twins, Cassandra and Aleksander, I sank onto my bed, staring at the intricate designs on the canopy above. The playful chatter of the twins filled the room, their laughter a stark contrast to the somber thoughts weighing on my heart. I longed to join their lightheartedness, but the thought of departing from this enchanted realm felt like a gathering storm inside me.

"Queen Tori? Are you alright?" Cassandra's worried voice broke through my reverie. She approached hesitantly, her brown eyes wide with concern, focusing solely on me, almost as if she could sense the clouds of worry hovering above my head.

I nodded weakly and patted the space beside me, inviting her to sit. "It's okay. Come here," I said, forcing a smile that didn't quite reach my eyes.

"Are you sure?" she pressed, trying to gauge the truth of my unspoken feelings. I knew she wanted reassurance, wanting desperately to lift my spirits.

Another nod was all I managed, but as I looked at her, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill over, I realized how daunting it was to conceal my heartache. Leaving Narnia felt like abandoning my safety net, my home—a thought so painful it churned my stomach.

Trying to inject a bit of sunlight into the gloom, I said, "You know, once we leave this place, I'll ask King Caspian to let you two stay in this room, and you'll have a wonderful time here." I forced a cheerfulness into my voice that fell flat as I saw the frowns on Edmund's and Lucy's faces. Their concern echoed my own.

Edmund, sensing the weight of the atmosphere, leaned closer to Cassandra and whispered something that sparked a giggle from her, brightening the mood momentarily. I couldn't help but smile, even as my heart felt heavy.

"Are you alright?" Lucy asked again, making her way toward me with that caring look only she could muster.

I managed a small smile but shook my head, guilt mingling with my emotions. "Come on, we're not ten years old for you to do that lie. You know I'm terrible at it," I replied, my voice laced with a hint of humor, but the weight of my feelings remained.

"To be honest?" I hesitated, feeling the words stick in my throat. "I'm not sure if I am alright or if I am just... upset or disappointed." I let my body fall back onto the bed, a sigh escaping my lips, heavy with everything left unspoken.

Just as Lucy was about to respond, we heard the twins' voices outside. "Cassandra? Aleksander? You may come in, stop bickering!" I called, eager for their naïve energy to fill the room again. When they entered, arms laden with chocolates and treats, I shot Edmund a pointed glare. I knew he must have whispered to them about bringing sweets as a distraction.

But my heart sank when I spotted a tear glistening on Cassandra's cheek, and a wave of urgency washed over me. "Cassandra? Hey... what's wrong?" I asked, bending down to meet her gaze, my heartstrings tugging at the sight of her distress.

"We... I... We heard you talking. You sounded upset. I'm sorry..." She whispered, guilt etched on her tiny features, and my heart ached at her fragility.

I immediately wrapped my arms around her, pulling her into a comforting hug. "It's alright, it's alright," I murmured softly, feeling her tremble against me, the warmth of her little body grounding me in that moment.

Before long, I felt a small hand slipping into mine, and I turned to see Aleksander looking up at me with worried eyes. "I want to hug too," he declared, and I gladly opened my arms for him.