Perfect Illusion

Chapter 21: Not All Water Passes Under the Bridge

"Thank you." Turning to open her car door, she gently put her bag inside and rotated back to look up at him, her smile neutralising as she took in his appearance. His dark hair blending in with the night sky, his soft features looked almost luminous under the scattered orange street lights in the car park. She realised she was already doing it again. She'd had a sweet moment with him and she was trying to erase it and push aside the fact that he'd been so lovely. The change started now or never. And she was choosing now. "I, uh, I have my eighteen week scan next week, I thought maybe you could come too." The deafening silence almost crushed her, forcing her to clear her throat and break the eye contact anxiously. Why was he taking so long to answer?! "Only if you wanted to of course, I just felt I should ask since you're the father-"

"No, no of course, I'd love too. I'm just shocked you're asking is all." He smiled widely, he looked like a child on Christmas morning, calming her racing emotions. "I'll definitely be there, thank you." She felt his hand on her upper arm, rubbing it softly.

"Good, right, well that's settled then." She smiled, stepping away from his warm touch. She was open to change but it was a huge step for her and taking it slow and steady was probably a less risky approach. He watched her climb into her car and drive off before turning to his own, they were only a few spaces apart. His face was positively aching with how much he was smiling this entire time. Things were finally taking a turn, she was letting him in and he wasn't having to force it anymore.

Stood leaning against a battered Volvo nearby, James lit up another cigarette. His brain still processing this newfound revelation. So Michael was clearly out of the picture and this co-worker of hers appeared to be the one who had fathered her unborn children? A new darkness plagued his mind, his fist balling as he smoked angrily in the night.

-X-

"He's still not speaking to you then?" Sam breathed his sentence lowly as he approached her to the right. She was in scrubs, leaning her front gently against the nurses station as she watched Elliot with a patient from afar.

"No." There was a quiet pause before she glanced down at the open patient notes in front of her. "And I don't blame him." Her tone of voice didn't match her expression, she looked gutted but her voice sounded cold. As though she knew there was no going back after what she said. She was furious with herself.

"I think he just needs some time to cool off-"

"Yes, well, he should save himself the hassle." She answered icily, closing the file and sliding it back to the pile on her left, all the while she'd managed to avoid his gaze. "He doesn't deserve to be treated like that by anyone, let alone someone claiming to be his friend." She moved away from the nurses station and began heading towards her office, desperately seeking solace. It was around that time of day where morning sickness (or more like afternoon sickness) would hit her full force. Unfortunately for her aching head, Sam turned and followed her.

"You were upset-"

"Please, don't make excuses for me." She pleaded with a sigh as they entered her office, the silence was a huge relief to her as he closed the door after entering. "I was awful, to both of you." Taking a seat slowly, she locked eyes with him for the first time since their conversation started out on the ward.

"He'll come around." Ignoring her self-loathing words, he kept his response the same. Wishing to reassure her, it seemed to have had the desired effect. "I, uh, I saw your dad was still hasn't been transferred." He eased into the sentence slowly, treating the subject with the delicacy it deserved.

"Don't get me started." She growled, grabbing two Nurofen from their foiled packet and popping them swiftly between words. "It's too risky to move him to St. James' apparently." There was a growing element of irritation in her words and her actions too now as she became more aggressive with the paperwork once swallowing the painkillers. "It's been four days, he's fine or at least well enough to be moved."