Under the Lemon Tree// ashton irwin

Atelophobia

(n.) The fear of imperfection or not being good enough

Chapter 6:

NSFW// chapter contains smut

Harley's pov:
I wake up to a splitting headache and a tall brunette boy sleeping next to me. What the fuck happened last night? I started burping to much and I just knew something was about to come up so I race to the bathroom to puke my lungs out. Ashton comes in all groggy from being woke up. "Hey babe are you ok?" he crouches down to hold my hair. "Ash did we.... y'know?"  he seemed shock by my answer. "Of course not, you weren't NEAR as sober as I was, I'd NEVER do anyone like that. I'd never take advantage of you" his response seemed a little sad. "I'm sorry if I offended you by asking" he shook his head.. I think I upset him. he sighs "Its ok, my rep does make it seem like I would but I never had and never will take advantage of someone, you should know me better than that" damn I really did hurt him. "ash- I'm sorry I-" he stands up. "look its ok... I'm going to get you meds and clear liquids, just stay put" he sighs and walks out.

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Ashton's pov:
I love Harley I really do but you'd think after all this time she'd know me well enough to know that I'm not like that. To be honest not a lot of people will believe me when I say this, but the last time I had sex was about a year and a half ago, when I was in a serious relationship, it was actually my first time believe it or not. When I'm referred to as a man whore its because people think I sleep with every girl. No, all it is sloppy head from girls I would start to like and think they'd be a good girlfriend till they show they're true colors. I'm genuinely not a bad guy. Not even the boys know except for Calum. Or at least I thought he did.

I head downstairs to get her meds and find Michael sitting in the kitchen. He turns to meet my gaze, "Well. Have anything you would like to share?" he says. "Listen its to early to hear your snarky bullshit comments, I just came down to get some crackers and medicine for Har" I head towards the cabinets. "So what all happened at the party and apparently after party?" Michael says. "Dude nothing fucking happened— so can you please excuse me" I start to walk away. Michael steps in-front of me, "because from what I can remember... it was you who blew smoke into her mouth and you two heading upstairs.. ring a bell?" I roll my eyes at his assumptions. "Yes that did happen but I did not take advantage of her" he points to the hickey on my chest. "Then what the fuck is that from" this bitch I swear if I wasn't so tired and slightly hungover I'd punch him.. respectfully of course. "When we went up stairs we made-out and she started giving me hickeys and then before things went further I stopped her because I realized she was insanely plastered. She didn't like that I wasn't wanting to fuck her while shes drunk, so she whined and bitched. I picked her up, threw her in my car and drove her here. Where she threw up and cried. she took a bath. After all that we just watched a movie and went to sleep. Happy?". "Ash-" he starts to say, I cut him off " Oh and Mike... I just want you to know — I've only ever had sex was when I was dating Bryana, I haven't since... so just keep that in mind.." I shoved past him and start to make my way upstairs.

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Michael's pov:
Hearing all what he said made not only made me start to realize that he actually cares about her, but that I've got everything wrong. I normally never admit to being wrong, but I guess I am now. And maybe I am a bit hard on them, but at the time it was for good reasons, or at least I assumed it was. I think for the time being I need to lay off of them and start focusing on myself, my inner thoughts, my sexuality, my love life, everything.

When I'm deep in my thoughts, I write songs about my feelings-- which sounds lame, but in all seriousness it helps as an escape from reality. A much needed distraction. Lately I've been feeling like a let down, shit person, shit friend, shit cousin, shit son, everything. I pick up my acoustic and strum a harmony till I'm comfortable with the outcome.
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"Another Day
of painted walls and football on TV
No one sees me
I fade away
Lost inside a memory of someone's life"
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