Negative Creep

Chapter three: James Lee

TW

"...what is the meaning of life?"

The male sat as he stared at the girl, he learned to know as Miya, he thought she was so beautiful, he wanted to kiss her badly, as he's always had a crush on her, but learned at the time she was dating one of his previous class members. So he didnt know if she was taken or not, but....he couldn't help but feel like this towards her.

This girl, he knew she'd had to have lovers before, because well look at her. She was astonishing, he can already tell she might be trouble, not to be judgemental but, he just had a hunch.

Through the whole class, he couldn't help but switch from being in one of those moods where he could careless, to gnawing over this girls existence. He was caught in a mood, a mood where he felt empty, sad, and depressed. That ended quickly as he said his joke, something about Kurt Cobain.
He heard Miyas little giggle as she looked at him across the table, her little smile, that cheered him up. Which wouldn't last as long as school was about to end and he had to face the isolation his house held.

This girl may have made him happier, but again, he was not looking for a relationship...at all....as his other relationship never really worked out. She was a total bitch, and a slag to say the least, which wouldn't be a judgement, it would be a fact. He kind of regretted dating her, one time. He had tried to talk to her about his problems, and what was on hurting him at the moment; she just tried to have sex with him. Thinking that might heal him, although he would have loved it, if he wasn't depressed, he hated it, as he only wanted a cuddle and some sweet words. What cut their relationship was when she had slept with his friend, he never wanted anything to do with her again, which would be ironic.

Soon staring at the girl turned sour, as he began to dissociate into thought his mind raced as he started to over think, and when he over thought it was a nightmare of anger, and negative emotions. He stopped staring at her before he looked down at the table, his smile dropped. Flash backs of some pale woman in a dark closet, boys clothing everywhere, in bags and hanging on the closet rail. There she was, a woman of beauty, of sadness, a broken woman. He felt chills go up his back, but was quickly brought back to reality as Miya laughed at one of the classmates comments.
His heart warmed up a bit, he looked at her once more before the school bells rang through the school.

He stood from his chair, stretched before regathering his stuff and putting the chair he sat on away. He threw his beige backpack over his shoulder and walked for the door. Walking through the other school mates, hearing the loud laughing, and chattering, it was a daily routine. He walked out the doors and headed for his bus, this was just the begining of the school year, he couldn't wait for the rest as he finally felt excitement to go to class. That was because of Miya, he wondered if she felt the same, which he doubted heavily but still liked to question.

He went to his bus, and went to his seat, where he was slightly hit by his little brother, jarred. Who wasn't really his brother, but they were raised like it. Jarred always kept James's child side. One time as old as James is, they played as if they were both John Wick. Dorky.
"Hey!" Said Jarred, as he sat in his seat just across from James. "What?" Replied James, then Jarred went on bragging about different things, then talking about kids in his school which happened to be the middle school, then he went on about vans, his favorite pairs of shoes.

This went on until they reached home, they used to stay together when they were young, but after their grandpa passed they were separated, but not far. Literally just a min walk from James's house, to his, they lived in the country so their houses were pretty close to each other.

James said goodbye to Jarred before jumping off the bus and into his house. As he walked through the door he felt a wave of sadness, and loneliness as he felt a little alone. He walked up the old fashioned staircase and into the living room which connected to the kitchen, where he began to scrape his pipe piece, it was a routine for him.
As the house never had wifi, or anything else besides a tv and a old DVD player, he found entertainment in his music, and his guitars. His father was a great guitarist, and metal head which then was brought down to James, his dad bought him amps, and guitars, although James loved playing his guitars he always felt sad doing it, he sometimes got frustrated as he felt he wasn't good enough. His father would tell him he wasn't good enough, he was good at playing and he would never be.

Which sadly stuck with James, like a hitchhiker, those little red bird you find in a prairie I mean. Soon his night came to a end, and he laid on his little single bed, with his radio playing. He stared at the ceiling, before standing up again and walking out of his room and into the next, which happened to be his old room. He stared at the closet, before sitting in it, staring up at the rail. He hit his head against the back of the closet, tear raced down his cheeks, "...I'm sorry..." He muttered before putting his head down and holding himself. Flashbacks raced through his mind, he couldn't take it anymore. He stood up and laughed at himself for crying, "stop being a little bitch" he said to himself before rubbing the tears away and walking into his room, and laying down. Officially ending his night, as he slept.