beetlebum - oasis/blur

FROZEN FUCKIN PIZZAS MAN

NEVE'S POV

I'm really really ill.

Being Alex's cheese lab rat had its fuckin' cons. The bastard would just shove it down me when it wasn't even ready yet. It was absolutely fuckin' minging. It's the one thing I hated about staying at his, the inevitable cheese sickness I would get.

It felt like everyone was on a date and I was stuck with Alex. Don't get me wrong, loved and cherished that boy to bits, but I was missing having a boyfriend-or a girlfriend. D'ya know what I mean? Just a bit lonely so I was.

"Nevieee," Alex trailed out, snapping me out of my daze. Fucking hated that nickname, load of bollocks.

"What the fuck do you want?" He looked at me with pleading eyes and I groaned. "Nah mate, I'm not massaging your feet again." I know there really shouldn't be an 'again' after that sentence, but unfortunately there was.

He huffed, "you love it." And I didn't, I really fuckin' didn't. "But no, I was going to ask if you could run to Sainsbury's for food, my fridge is fucking bare."

"Lazy bastard, do it yourself," I grumbled. Like I'd dragged my hole over to his only for him to have fuck all to eat, the cheek of it. "You should have your fridge sorted for me coming."

"I'm about to fucking fall asleep and you want to stay awake all bloody night so," he paused, "if you fuck off to the shops I can sleep and then be wide awake for the rest of the night, yeah?"

"I suppose so," I muttered. I was going to have to do the big shop for Alex, dickhead. This was probably his plan all along.

Without another word and his head hitting the sofa, I grabbed money from his Jean pockets and left his flat. Thank fucking god Sainsbury's wasn't too far away or I'd kill him.

I kicked the stones on the pavement as I walked by. Going to shops wasn't fun when you didn't have your mates. A part of me almost wished that I'd went to that boring modelling convention with Brona.

Why didn't Alex, Dave, Graham and I plan to do something? Fucking idiots we are man.

I strolled into Sainsbury's, acting like a fucking god because I am beautiful like.

I was thinking a shite load of frozen food for dinner tonight and lots and lots of ice cream. Fucking yes lads, let's do it. Alex would be all for it so he would.

So I'm just walking down the frozen food aisle right, eyeing up the pizzas and some dickhead walks straight into me and mutters something under her breath, so naturally I have to say summat.

"What'd you say?" I asked, turning to face her. Fuck off. Fuck right off.

She scoffed, "can you not watch where you're going either?" Morgan the straightener breaking bastard, I'll jump her. "Also, heard what you said to the paps-real fucking classy."

"I wanted you to hear it babes," I smiled, "I think it's about time someone told you how shite you are at you're job." Jesus Christ I was going to laugh stop it. "Fuckin' walk down the runway fallin' about the place, I can walk straighter than you and I'm off me face half the time."

She fuckin' lunged for me and I moved out of the way, because we were in Sainsbury's y'know? And I just wanted to buy Alex's shop and go. So, she threw herself at a freezer. It looked really fucking sore.

"Love? Are you alright?" A man came sprinting down the isle. Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck OH FUCK. "Jesus Christ, what 'ave you done to 'er?"

"Fuck all," I spat at him, the fucking nerve. "Over here trying to get a pizza and she starts chatting shite."

"Find that 'ard to believe," Noel stared at me, suspiciously. He has really nice eyes. "You sure you didn't provoke 'er?"

"Maybe I said a few things but like," I breathed, "so did she, the cunt." Just wasn't in the mood for this.

"Oi, watch yourself," he warned.

Morgan fucking erupted, "I'll smash your head in!" Crazy fucking bitch, ain't she?

"Love, go get us a box 'o cereal, would ya?" He ushered her away, and thankfully she fucking left. "I can't keep runnin' into ya like this."

"What a pair we are, always fightin'. Here, how about next time I bump into you, I'll braid your hair or summat." My new best friend everyone, Noel Gallagher.

"Get ta fuck," he tutted, "I hope I never run into ya again." Twat face twatter twat twat twatty twat.

"Just had to ruin it didn't you?" I questioned him, pouting. Who the fuck was I kidding? Noel and I could never have a joke or be friendly because well...he was a cunt.

"Yeah, yeah," he shook his head, inspecting my frozen pizza. "You gonna eat that all by yourself? Bit sad innit?"

I shot him a glare, "nah man, Alex and I are gonna scran it, I'm fuckin' starvin', d'ya know what I mean?"

He nodded, his face falling a bit. "You and Alex going out?" He's such a nosy bastard.

"No." Then his usual cocky demeanour was back, hadn't missed it much. It was on holiday for 2 seconds and I really wanted it to go back.

"Just curious because the paps keep talkin' about it and the news as well." Yeah thanks Noel. "I'll be goin' now, but before I do," he coughed, "stop harassing me girlfriend maybe?" His wish would never be fucking granted.

"Here, as soon as she stops being a bitch, I'll stop talkin' about her, yeah?" And then I turned on my heal and left the bastard to go to a different aisle.

What a fucking life I'm living, ey? Bumping into Noel fucking Gallagher in Sainsbury's and his girlfriend attempting to murder me. Fucking weird man.

Very fucking weird.

NOTE

despise this despise it I'm sleep deprived and I hate life and school is fuckinf ugly and ew ew EWWJDJ