beetlebum - oasis/blur

DAMON AND HIS CRINGE DATE IDEAS

DAMON'S POV

She was just so fucking beautiful.

And I could repeat that sentence a thousand times because it never failed to be true. Jess could show up dressed like fucking Liam Gallagher or a rat (they're the same) and she'd still be gorgeous.

I felt like I'd been neglecting our relationship a little bit. We'd been out with our mates loads, but not really separately. It'd been a while since I did something for her, like something special anyways. I also still felt extremely bad about the whole Dylan situation where I got all jealous and all, and then the other situation where it was Brona who punched the bastard and not me.

She'd told me about a dream she'd had-it was a fucking weird one. It involved me, her, John Lennon whom she liked to call John Jennon and David Bowie. Apparently John fancied me, but I fancied her and we confessed our feelings in a swarm of wasps with Bowie imitating some fucking Mozart tune with his voice. Then after we'd confessed our feelings and John had got chased away by the angry wasps, who had also stung David in the throat so he couldn't sing anymore, we fucked off to have a picnic under the stars.

Now obviously her dream was fucked and I don't have a clue what any of it means, but I really liked the part with the picnic under the stars, and I knew that she liked it too from the way she lit up when she talked about it. And I'd do anything to see her be fucking happy, even force Gra to make sandwiches with me and then constantly have Dave checking the weather in the background.

Fucking whipped I am.

We were out in some fucking shitty London field, that would've looked dull and grey if she wasn't sitting on it. The stars were shining, and so was I from the fucking sweat dripping off me, I think I felt nervous? Not sure why though. I was also manifesting that Kat's date went well tonight, but also not because I wanted John to be a dickhead so she'd sack him off and go out with our Gra.

"What ya thinking about, Dames?" Only you. Just you. Always you. Is that weird? No, definitely not.

"Nothing, nothing," I felt like I was going to blush for fucks sake. We'd been going out for months, why did she still have this effect on me? "What d'you think about the shape of them stars, looks a bit odd, don't you think so?"

Jess shook her head, "nah. Wait..." she trailed off for a moment, "very similar to the shape of Noel Gallagher's head, I have to say." I wasn't thinking that? She had quite a psychedelic mind sometimes.

"Right," I nodded, a grin spreading across my face.

"What about those there! Look!" She pointed to perhaps the prettiest fucking sight (aside from herself) that I'd seen in ages. "Fucking beautiful!"

I didn't want to be proper cringe and reply with 'yeah' but be staring at her, this isn't some fucking cliche romance nonsense, but I was staring at her. The stars danced in her eyes.

Don't even get me started on those fucking eyes. I knew them inside out, they were my favourite colour. Everything about her was my favourite-her hair, her lips and other features that would be very inappropriate to mention.

And yeah, I should've been looking at the stars because she was telling me to, but she was the fucking stars. You should've seen her, fucking glowing and all. So in love, I really am.

"Mmm," I hummed. "How you liking them sandwiches love, up to your standard?"

She peered back at me, finally ripping her eyes away from the sky. "They're surprisingly fuckin' mint! Did you get Graham to help?"

"Of course I did, I can't do a thing without him," I pouted. "How do you reckon Kat and that blokes date is going? Think she likes him?"

Jess furrowed her eyebrows at me, "I didn't really hear much about it. Heard his name was John, he was Irish and Ginger and that's about it. Why?"

"Graham and Stephanie broke up," I dropped it like a fucking bomb didn't I. She honestly looked relieved at the new found information.

"What? Fuck off! It's too good to be true!" And it was, that woman was a fucking menace in our lives. "Wait, did he do it because of..."

"Kat? Honestly, I think so," I paused, "he didn't say it or anything, but I know him, you know?" And she nodded. "Anyways lets not talk about their tragic love story, and instead focus on our fucking brilliant one, yeah? C'mere."

And then I had her in my arms. Surrounded by sandwiches. Under the stars. Wow.

What a fucking life I was living, ey? Mental.

"That star looks like your arse," she pointed to it, and I was inclined to agree. "Like, just look at it. Do you see it?"

"Unfortunately yes," I rolled my eyes. "How the fuck do you know what my bum looks like, creepy fucking perv."

"Oi! Shut you up," she chuckled. "You fuckin' show me it everyday, how could I forget what it looks like. It's ingrained in my memory." That poor girl. No, fucking scratch that. My arse is great and she's lucky she gets to see it.

"I love you," I kissed her hair. "You know I do, don't you? I'm not so fucking quiet about it, am I?"

"No, you've told the fuckin' world you love me Dames, and I love you. Obviously."

She could make me smile even if I'd stepped on Lego or something, she just knew what to say.

"You're my world," I teased. I fucking love being cringe with her. She pretended to throw up, and I could feel my own stomach churn from saying what I'd said.

Like yeah, she was my fucking world but you can't just say stuff like that because it's cheesy. Fucking cheesier than Alex.

NOTE

You've got ur chapter Jess now fuck off xx
-ur bestie