Fireproof

4 - Family - L

I was glad that we were interrupted.

I just didn't want to tell Niall that I had no sleep last night. After a really stressful night two days back, the past two days were okay, but since yesterday evening, I felt like shit.

I had talked to Niall about it in the evening, and he was so caring that this  morning I didn't have the heart to tell him that I was going to miss breakfast. So I spoke to Zayn instead, because I knew he wouldn't try to convince me to eat. I felt guilty that I used the fact that Zayn understood me better in these matters, but I didn't have the power to discuss it with Niall or Liam.

But after not appearing for breakfast, I had to go to Zayn's place with the others; I knew that there always was a point where my friends didn't just nod to everything I did anymore. Conveniently being out with the boys  diverted me so much that I promised myself to do it more often in the next few weeks. From monday onwards, we had to go to our lectures but my experience told me that we had enough time to hang out and clear our minds. Harry was going to be there as well but fuck it, I didn't have to talk to him. I accepted that he was existent as long as he didn't try to connect with me or something.

While eating with Zayn's wonderful family, I didn't feel bad at all. I felt a little empty and it was hard for me to join a conversation, but it was okay. I ended up just listening to the others and slowly eating my food.

I was so comfortable with my friends and Zayn's family, that it wasn't very annoying when Zayn's mother started to ask Harry some questions.

"Harry, you know Zayn and the others from college right?", she asks.

"Yes, I do. I'm Niall's roommate."

"And what do you study, my dear?"

"English language and literature studies, musicology and I have a creative writing course", Harry said with a smile on his lips.

I suppressed a sarcastic comment about his predilection for art or what kind of job he will get.

In contrast to me, Zayn's mother seemed really impressed: "Wow, you have to be really talented Harry! Could I maybe read something from you one day? Oh, but no pressure, you don't have to show me anything!", she added when she saw Zayn's look.

"No, that's okay", Harry said, "As you know, the semester hasn't started yet, and I'm already a few days here, so I had a bit more time than at home to write stuff. I can show you a bit if you want to."

"That's really kind of you, Harry. Why didn't you have so much time to write at home?"

"Um, well", Harry started, his body language changing quickly, "I just spend a lot of time with my mother and my sister. And, you know, household chores also stop me from writing."

I stared at Harry for a second too long. Something definitely changed in the last minute. But before I could figure out what it was, I felt Liam's eyes on me and I concentrated on my food again.

"Zayn, Safaa, Waliyha, listen, there are still children who are helping their parents in the household chores!", Zayn's mother said with a smirk.

"Mum, I don't even live here anymore." You could see that Zayn tried not to be rude or childish but his mum just laughed and said: "It's just a joke. I know you would help me anytime I need it." "We too!", Safaa said. "Of course." The response came with a smile full of love.

During the rest of the meal, Harry and Zayn's mum talked about literature, Zayn's sisters talked about a band I didn't know and Niall and Liam started a discussion as to whether golf is the best sport on the planet or not.

After we finished eating everyone on the table had joined the discussion and tried to defend his own favorite kind of sport. I made clear that football was the best sport ever, but espacially Niall didn't see my point. Even though no one wanted to give in to any opinion which was different than their own, it was really funny. And accordingly I was in a good mood when we drove back to the campus.

...

After we reached our destination, Harry said goodbye to call his family. The rest of us went to a park and sat down next to a big tree. We sat in a triangle, Liam was leaning against the tree, Zayn was leaning against Liam and Niall and I sat infront of them in the grass. 

We talked a bit about the next semester and then about music.

"I had a new song idea this morning", Niall said.

"This is amazing Nialler", I stated happily, "Can I hear your idea soon?"

"Of course, but-", Niall answered.

"I won't judge or anything", I interrupted him, "if you want me to listen, I'll listen, if you want me to give you feedback, I'll give you feedback, but I won't judge you."

"Anyways, your songs are always great, from the idea to the result, how could anyone ever say something bad about them?", Zayn said.

"What DJ Malik said", Liam added while his hand wandered up and down Zayns arm. Cute.

"You are the best friends one can wish for", Niall stated with a big smile.

"I know", Zayn grinned and avoided a slap from Liam.

"Do you know yet what the song will be about?", I asked. While my enthusiasm was hundred percent real in the beginning, I felt now it was getting harder and harder for me to show elation.

"No, I only have some melody passages", Niall said.

Liam and Zayn started to throw plot ideas to Niall and I sat beside them and smiled.
Most of the ideas were really stupid, some pretty funny and a few actually good.
But then Niall raised his arms and said while laughing: "Stop, Stop! You didn't even hear the meoldy! And please, my head aches because of your mess of ideas." Zayn and Liam laughed.

Then Niall looked to me. "Louis, is everything okay?"

"Not feeling that good. Think I'm going to go to sleep early today", I said, carful to sound as much airily as possible, to show my friends that they don't have to worry about me. I thought I managed it quite good, but their expressions told me otherwise.

"You know, we are always there for you", Liam said.

"Yeah", I responded, avoiding eye contact.

"What's wrong?", Liam asked.

"It's just-"

"C'mon, stop seeing any danger in Harry. He is a good guy but even if you don't like him, it doesn't change our friendship in any way", Zayn said with much force in his voice.

"Listen Louis, Harry is my roommate and I really like him. We kinda connected or something. But you will always be my oldest and best friend. So please do what Zayn just told you", Niall said quietly.

"Nialler", I answered, visibly moved, "I love you. You will always be my oldest and best friend too. But guys, I don't care about Harry! If he's there, okay. If he ignores me, better. If y'all let me ignore him, perfect."

"It wasn't like that in the past", Liam stated, frowning.

"Yeah", I admitted, "but", I sighed, "it's like this now. Okay? I just want to spend more time with you guys again."

"Of course, Louis", Liam said with a warm voice.

Niall gave me a tight hug. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the warmth of his body.

"We love you", Zayn said when I opened my eyes again.

"I love you all too."

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Lu