Fireproof

5 - Difficult - H

The rest of the day also went smoothly. Mrs. Malik asked me about my subjects and my degree, which I proudly talked about. It was good to have a parental figure who talked about your interests.
Louis was quiet. He occasionally talked to Niall, that too in a hushed tone.

When we reached campus, the others went towards the park whereas I went back to my dorm. I had wanted to check in on mum and Gem since Mrs Malik had asked me about my family.

So i called Gemma,
"hey Harry"
"hi Gem, how are you?"
"m fine" she said shakily.
"you sure?"
"yes, yes i'm sure Haz, i am okay"
"how's uni going"
"it's been going just fine."
"alright love, can you pass the phone to mum?"
"yes, yes she's right here"

"hi harry" mum said softly.
"hi mum, how do you feel?"
"fine actually, how are you?"
"m okay, i made some friends here. had gone out with them"
"that's wonderful love, tell me more"
And then I went on describe my day with the lads.

By the end I heard light sobs.
"you okay mum?"
"yes, yes honey i'm just so happy for you"
and now i felt like breaking down as well.
"me too, now please give the phone to Gem"

"yes harry?"
"is mum really okay?" i asked, my voice filled with worry.
"she is, she's better. She's still reeling from the loss. We all are. But she will get better"
"okay, take care Gem i have to go"
"alright Haz, love you"
"love you too"
and I hung up.

I lied down on my bed and started crying. I hadn't shed a tear since it happened. I couldn't. I had to be strong for my family. I had managed to contain myself and I would do so even now. But it was also important that I allowed myself to feel something. So I cried, promising myself that once this crying session was over, I would not think about it even a bit. I couldn't break down and lose it, atleast not now.

So I wiped my tears a little later,  changed and sat down on my bed.
I was on my phone, scrolling through instagram when Niall walked in.
"hey mate,"
"hi ireland"
"you alright? you look a little red"
"no yeah i'm fine, just washed my face so"
"oh okay"
"how was the time with the boys?"
Niall shrugged a little before speaking, "it was fine"
then before I could say anything, he marched into the bathroom.

A little later, he came out.
"so what's the deal with Liam and Zayn?" i asked.
A silly grin spread all over his face.
"they always keep on blushing and touching each other. I think its something more than friendship"

" oh didn't you catch on?"
"no, why?" i raised an eyebrow.
"Liam and Zayn are together"
I knew it.
"oh, as a couple?"
"yes. and totally head over heels for each other"
now niall was smirking.
"that's wonderful actually"
And it really was. Even though I had known them only for a few days, Liam and Zayn did seem perfect for each other.

"so you're okay with it?"
"yes why wouldn't i be"
"no i just thought you know-"
"you know Ireland, i don't really care about their sexuality. It doesn't really matter to me"
"alright styles, good to know"

"alright" and I returned back to my phone whereas Niall slowly drifted off to sleep. I slept soon as well but I was worried for mum. She didn't really sound fine but I trusted gemma, atleast for now. 

The next few days were spent similarly. I was now a part of the boys and I hung out with them often.
Louis had this peculiar sort of behaviour.

We were all again at Zayn's  place on the day just before our classes started. And  Louis was in a good mood. He would burst out laughing and smiling anytime he felt like.

There was this sincerity in his smile and his eyes didn't look that empty. It was just as if he looked almost alive. It was then that I realized how beautiful he was.  He was not very tall but he had a fine built. His hair had a soft brown colour and his eyes were blue, just like the ocean. His face was really attractive. When he smiled genuinely without forcing himself, his eyes crinkled. It was a pleasant sight.

This is what happens when you have a poetic mind.

Or maybe I just wanted to be friends with him. Because at times I felt as he needed it. Or maybe I did.

That very day he had shouted at Niall just a little later.
Niall and Louis had teamed up against Liam and Zayn and they were losing.

"oi Louis look how you're playing mate? we'll lose if you continue to play this pathetically and you know how much I don't like to lose"
Niall had this in a completely light way but maybe Louis took it more seriously.

"Niall, love" he said with a bitter expression on his face "if you don't like playing with me then you shouldn't have invited me. It is not I who readily comes with you. You drag me with you to come to Zayn's every single fucking day."
his voice was growing louder now. Zayn and Liam had also stopped playing.
"if I am that pathetic and unwanted then it's better that I leave, isn't it boys?" he said looking towards Liam and Zayn, who didn't utter a word.

With that he got up from the floor, opened the door and began to climb the stairs. Niall hurriedly got up and went out the door practically shouting while the others followed him.

"yo lou, I was kidding mate, come back. You know how ridiculous I act during these games"
"FUCK OFF" was all louis shouted before he stormed out of the house. Niall went running behind him but Louis slammed the door right in his face. He didn't get hurt so he continued going behind him.

"Louis, mate stop!"  I heard niall yelling.

Then liam said facing towards zayn, "should we go?"
I was standing right behind them.
"no" he said sternly. "Niall can take care of it on his own. It's his mistake anyways." Now Zayn sounded a little furious.

"but-"

"no li, Niall knows how delicate Lou is, we just can't say anything to him. he-"
zayn stopped when he saw that i was just behind them.

"whats the matter Zayn?" i asked.
"nothing, its just louis is-"
liam shot him a look.
"he is what?" i further questioned.
"nothing. nothing, its not my place to tell you. Louis will open up when he is comfortable"

"its okay, I get it but he doesn't even talk to me or at times, even acknowledge my presence"
"I know harry I know, he's like that sometimes. You just have to bear with him. But he's not a jerk as he shows himself to be. He's just a bit difficult. You have to give him a little time to trust you enough to open up. That's it."

Liam simply nodded.

"okay, okay I understand"
I didn't understand at all but I did not  want to press the matter any further as it was a sensitive topic anyway.

So i just shrugged and went downstairs with them. We ended up watching a movie. Zayn and Liam cuddled on the floor without giving a fuck that I was right behind them. And I sat on the couch with the entire blanket to myself.

But I was not concentrating on the movie at all. My thoughts kept on drifting towards Louis, as to where he and niall were and whether they had solved everything or not.

Later when I was back in my room, there were still no texts or phone calls from Niall. I was beginning to worry now.
I left a few texts to Niall and decided to read something. And even as I was falling asleep, there was still no sign of him. 

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hey luvs!!
I know this chapter kinda sucks and i'm so sorry for it, but i will make it up in the next one.
please comment or vote if you liked it even a bit. this did take a lot of effort.
i love you either way <3
stay safe,
ausie