Fireproof

6 - Challenges - L

I stormed out of the house and ran until I reached a bench in an empty place. As I sat down, tears came up. I forcibly held them back by suppressing my feelings and it worked until Niall showed up.

"Louis, please, I am sorry. I shouldn't have say this."

"It's all right. It wasn't your fault, you know that." My vision began to blur.

"Lou", Niall said softly and sat down next to me.

"It just hurts so much Niall. It hurts so much that I make this so hard for you all."

"It's not your fault either!"

"I really have to talk to Charly. She helps me, she really does, but sometimes I think that it is better to just stay in my... you know what, than come out. I'm sick of hurting everyone I love."

"Lou, it hurts more to see you down for weeks than to be yelled at sometimes."

"But if I am down, you can still live you life!

"Don't ignore how important you are for us!"

"But maybe at least Liam and Zayn could-"

"No Louie! Zayn even was really pissed that I made that comment. They would do anything for you."

"But they shouldn't! Or at least they shouldn't have to..."

Niall sighed.
"You can ask Charly to change something. And talk with Jess as well."

"Yeah, you are right", I agreed, "Charly will find a way to make it better. And thankfully I have Jess! I don't know what I would do without her."

"I'm really glad that she does you so good."

I smiled. "She does."

"So, do you wanna go back?", Niall asks.

I could tell that he wanted to, but I just couldn't. Not after the mess I created.
"It's just so hard to go back to people you hurt. I feel so sorry, but I don't think I am able to show that yet." Fuck, this hurt. But it was the truth. I was kinda proud that I could say this to Niall but even more ashamed, that I still wasn't brave enough to change that.

"You mainly hurt me!", Niall said, but with a smile.

"I'm sorry", I apologised and looked him in the eye.

"It's okay", he said, slapping my shoulder.

"Let me apologise with ice cream!", I said and grinned.

"Uhhh, food, you know me too well!"

I was so thankful that he didn't force me to go faster than I wanted to. If I could, I would buy him the whole ice cream parlour  but I am a student, so I didn't have the money for it. But nevermind, if I had the money I definitely would.

"I know, I know", I said.

My wallet was fortunately in my jacket so Niall and I could just go to the next ice cream parlour.

We spent the rest of the day together. My mood was not really stable, but with Niall I could handle it.

In the evening I didn't feel really good, so Niall stayed for hours in my room, even if our lectures started the next day.

I also called Charly and we said that we would meet on monday evening.

It was well after midnight when Niall went to his room. Only then we realized that we forgot to tell the others where we were after we left Zayn's place. But nevermind, they knew us well enough  to not worry.

...

The next day I hardly could stand up. I sighed. Mondays. Who the fuck invited mondays?

Patiently I designed my timetable in a way I didn't have  to stand up before 10 a.m. on mondays, but it was still too early.

When I walked into the auditorium I saw Liam. You could visit some courses in any semester, so sometimes I was able to have something together with Liam or Zayn.

"Hey!", I said and sat down next to him.
"Hey!", he greeted back.

"How are you?", I asked.

"Great", Liam said with a naughty grin, "had a great night."

"Ew, I didn't want to know that", I said. But actually I was happy for Liam and Zayn.

Before Liam could respond, the lecturer came in. He literally walked as he was asleep. He reached the front of the auditorium, kept his bag on the ground and started with his lecture. No 'good morning', no 'welcome to the new semester'.

"What do you think", Liam whispered, leaning against me, "how many challenges this semester?"

I smiled. Last semester Liam and I also had a course together but after a few weeks we didn't have much motivation left. That's why we invented a game which was basically to make up challenges which spice up the lectures.

Liam and I sat pretty much in the back of the room but I could hear people in the second row talk 'quietly'. "Definitely more than in the last semester", I answered.

"Sure", Liam laughed, "I start. For the beginning I have an easy one. Play with the girl on your other side one party Tik Tak Toe."

I did what he said and let him ask a dump question after it. We played the game until the hour was over and laughed a lot. We had the silent agreement, that we start simple and let the game get more intense over the weeks and months. But we knew our limits and took care to not extravagate.

My next lecture was rather interesting but I didn't know anyone in there which was what made this a little bit boring. I guess this would be a course I'll be quite good in.

After it was over I headed over to lunch. I joined Niall, Zayn, Liam and Harry who were already  in the cafeteria. I ignored Harry as always and he ignored me too. I quickly caught up with their conversation. It was about a party on friday night.

"Louis, do you wanna come to?", Zayn asked.

"Sure", I answered, "will be fun."

"But talk with Charly about it, okay?", Liam requested.

"Of course. I'll see her today."

"Who's Charly?", Harry wanted to know.

It was hard not to roll my eyes. "Nevermind", I said before anyone could tell him, "so, should we meet before the party?"

"Yeah", Niall said, "I still have some rests for pregaming."

"Then we have a deal", I said.

"Do you mind if I come too?", Harry asked. This actually surprised me. I thought he saw himself as a significant part of our group. But apparently he was still insecure about this. Maybe my fault.

"Of course!", Niall said to him. Then he looked towards me.

I nodded slightly. I didn't want to make his life harder than it is.

A big smile appeared on the face of my best friend.

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Heyy Luvs <3
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Lu