•Thea's POV•
'You don't get it and it's not easy for me to explain. I'm not trying to be lazy, I'm just so tired of everything. I don't have any motivation to succeed
And I don't know why this life is happening to me. I will try to explain to you the basics of depression. There's a feeling, a dark sparkling feeling. It begins somewhere deep beneath all other thoughts in your mind. It crawls to your heart, and rips all happiness contained inside of it. Then, we seem you forget the few rare souls who came into our lives and seemed to make us see it differently. It's all like drowning, but you get to observe everyone else around you breathing.'
I was so sick if people not understanding me. People don't get the daily challenges I face mentally to stay alive. Beth once I had them, but she got over them.
Alive.
I'm basically just a burden. I should probably just leave now. The group won't have to deal with another shellfish brat who would rather be dead in all situations. It's been two days now, and me and Carl haven't spoken since the first. Only I, and Beth seem to have conversations. Only because she once went through it and understood it. Carl passed through my room sometimes to grab a comic book but never spoke a word.
It was weird.
He said it, he left, and he hasn't said anything since. I didn't understand him.
But I also didn't understand myself.
"Hey." a voice said, snapping me out of my thoughts.
"Hi Beth." I managed a small smile.
"You okay?" She asked and I nodded as her figure disappeared from the doorway. I sighed to myself knowing that I was the opposite of okay. I heard footsteps approaching my door once more.
"Beth I already told you I'm- oh. Just you." I said to Carl who awkwardly walked across the room, swiping a comic book from the floor, which many more where placed due to a fallen box which seemed to have held them previously.
"Why don't you talk to me anymore?" I blurted rather abruptly. He just chuckled and shook his head. "And why did you save me? You could have let Derrick kill me. You didn't. Why?"
"Well first of all, it's Daryl. Not Derrick. Secondly, I don't know. I just did. Answer to your first question, there's nothing to talk about." he answered briefly and quickly departed from the room. He appeared to be lying, but I didn't know.
Nobody did.
He seemed upset. But that's okay.
You don't have to be okay.
***
"Oh lord,
River take me.
Down to the place
Where I am free."
~Pilgrim by MØ
