Torneró

33

I'm sure you're all wondering what happened. To answer your question - he's gone, obviously. After the never-ending amount of time had passed, Enzo eventually lifted me up from beside him. Yes, Enzo. That means he won, Marcel is dead - as he deserves. 

Despite the fact that Enzo killed him, I wish Marcel was still alive. Just for the simple fact that I could kill him myself. Carter is gone because of me, and Marcel, and even Enzo. Every bone in my body wanted to push him away, scream at him for the betrayal, tell him how much I hated him for being a part of this horrific plan, but I couldn't. I couldn't say anything.

With my bloodshot eyes, dry and cracked lips, colourless skin and drained body, I was carried out by the person I hated second most in this world. The first is Marcel. Dead or alive, he will always be the person I hate most in this world - he took the man that meant the most to me, my hatred for him is undying. 

Enzo helped Katherine out of her cuffs, she's still in shock, for obvious reason as well. He called Dominic, and Dom arrived the next day. I was put on a jet back to New York with Dominic, Enzo, and Katherine.

It's all my fault. There were so many ways this could have been avoided. If I weren't so happy to see Marcel, if I pushed him away apart from leaped of joy at his return. If we had just flown back to New York. If I had just died that day in the graveyard, the day I was supposed to die, then Carter would still be here. Our whole story would be deleted but at least he would still be here. It's not fair. 

It's been the same for everyone. Dominic, Kyle, and Cole grieved for their best friend, their brother. Hope and Elisa tried all they possibly could, despite being in the process of grief as well. Hope is so close to birth as well.

Enzo and Katherine have been glued by hip since the jet back. And I've spent all of my time in the bedroom, his bedroom. Wearing his clothes and laying in his bed. There's nothing I wouldn't do to be in his arms just one more time.

I haven't eaten apart from the food Katherine and Hope forced down my throat. The funeral is today. As much as I don't want to leave my isolated safe zone, I have to. For Carter, and for myself. 

A knock sounds at the door, followed by the turning of the knob and Katherine's entrance. "Hey" she whispers, slowly shutting the door behind her and walking towards me. She slowly takes a seat on the side of the bed, resting her hand above my covered body as I curl in a fetal position, tears silently flowing down my eyes as I stare at the blank wall. 

"Let's get you showered", she suggests. I give no verbal response, but shake my head. "I don't want to go" I choke out, my voice croaky and quiet from the lack of speaking I had done in the past three days.

"I know, but you have to. You'll regret it in the future if you don't" she attempts to convince me, "I don't have a future" I respond, my voice monotone. "Syl, don't say that", Katherine rubs against my back delicately, "I promise you that you will regret not going, it's your last time to say a proper goodbye to him" she adds, her voice smooth and low as she leans forward to me. 

I hesitate, her words flowing through my mind as I process it, before I sit myself up. "Fine" I announce, prior to using up all the energy I had attempted to preserve to stand up. I walk towards the bathroom, turning on the shower and stripping before entering.

The second I shut my eyes under the flow, I see him. But it's not the Carter that I usually saw. His mouth wasn't curled into a smile, and his eyes weren't bright. He was exactly as I was the last time I saw him, his eyes fluttering shut and the blood seeping out of his body. The touch of his hand against my cheek remained vibrant, as if he was still doing it. His touch burned into my skin. The phrase, "I can't fight anymore", repeating through my mind over and over again, it was a second voice in my mind at this point.