The Gap Year

Chapter 2

'Night Lady.' Spiros the driver nodded his head as I stepped down from the overheated coach and on to the overheated dusty pavement. Everything here is either overheated or called Spiros, or more often than not, both. Spiros this and Spiros that; all because of their precious St. Spyridon and the fact that he managed to convince the plague to leave the island about a billion years ago. Which is ironic really, considering the human plague that has multiplied here since the 1970's, infesting the beaches and tavernas in their pork chop pot bellied Bermuda short wearing swarms.

'Kalinihta, cute English holiday rep.' Ugh, Zorb's infamous greaseballed barman, Adonis, was grinning at me, cigarette hanging between his leathery lips. As if his mother actually called him Adonis, but I guess she must have been fed up with Spiros too? Or maybe she was being fortuitous since Adonis definitely thinks he's quite the babe magnet judging by the way he insists on forever wearing those tight white jeans and black t-shirt, tucked in and swivelling his hips like he is the man. He makes Dave the Head Rep seem like a good option.

'Come here,' he continued, 'my friend from England wants to meet you. He's working in my bar and needs lady friend, you know what I mean?' He wiggled his eyebrows at me, still grinning.

I sneered at him, stunned at his offering, before turning to cross the road. God there really is nothing as gross as the Mediterranean man trying to attract a mate. Like any sane woman would ever fall for that "you have the most beautiful eyes" crap. Yet night after night a different girl cocks her leg over, making a deal with the Devil, before zooming off on the back of Adonis's bike. Like my Daddy warned me, "something happens to the brains of British girls when they get on that aeroplane and they lose all judgement." Well not me, I'd rather bathe in bleach than go within an inch of Adonis and his moped.

'Maybe tomorrow night?' I could hear him calling after me as I walked down the dirt track towards my slime drenched apartment wondering what electrical malfunction, flood or other miscellaneous natural disaster might be waiting for me upon my return home.