The Gap Year

Chapter 25

The evening continued at insipid pace as Mother, now apparently satisfied that I'm not suicidal, regaled us with the minutiae of her and Daddy's failed trip to Florence and how she was now suffering from mild Post Traumatic Stress Disorder having had her purse stolen whilst admiring the Statue of David's finest parts; a diagnosis which has to be correct since Daddy was the one to make it. Still despite her distress at reliving the trauma this didn't deter her from repeatedly touching Liam's forearm, and he being too polite to point out that this might actually be an infringement of his personal space, grinned almost encouragingly.

Zoning out from the conversation I pondered my reflection in the glass surface of the table, my lips curved down in full embrace of my inner teenager, all the while trying to catch a glimpse of Harry out of the corner of my eye, something which really wasn't helping my gathering depression since he appeared to have quickly abandoned his own melancholy and was now happily giggling with Adonis and a trio of young women who were all dressed up in high heels, denim shorts and tanned midriffs, a haven of 1980's youth re-captured. I glanced down at my own over inflated bosom; what a waste and how desperate I must look, turning up here like an overzealous pup but without an ounce of courage to follow through on whatever my outfit might be suggesting.

'Liam! So great to see you again.' Ugh, Princess Perfect was here too, another waspish goddess dressed in too short shorts and a skimpy bikini top, the final nail in the coffin of this shoulda coulda have been perfect evening. 'Mwah!' She lent down and kissed him on the cheek. First my mother and now Miss Ditz, they're really fawning over poor Liam tonight, 'and here with Emma too.' Her beam swung around to me. 'My gosh you're quite the delicate beauty out of your uniform and all dressed up.' Her smile was so genuine that it only served to underline my self-loathing, yuck. 'Liam is very lucky.' She was now grinning at us both, clearly having made the same assumption as Mother. As Liam shuffled awkwardly in his chair, I followed Rebecca, making no attempt at hiding my gawping mouth, as she glided straight over to Harry.

Showing not a sign of insecurity she easily interrupted his conversation with Adonis and the three girls, slinging her arms around him, hugging him tight and kissing him on the cheek just like she had Liam. Everything which I was supposed to have done. She is everything that I am supposed to be; the perfect Rep with A* people skills and such innate charisma, so confident in her own ability that I bet she's never once needed to take herself to the toilet to regain her composure, which is exactly what I need to do now, if I'm to escape this choking lump in my throat, this overwhelming sting of envy in my chest and this fogginess collecting in my eyes which is making it increasingly difficult to see.

'I'm sorry, I've got to go.' I rose from my chair trembling, the canister of my pressurised emotions unravelling, and for one last time I locked eyes with Harry before turning to run.