The Gap Year

Chapter 3

Ugh, even worse than finding  a plague of fornicating cockroaches - Dave the Head Reps trainers were resting outside the door. No doubt he'd put them there to protect Katie from their sour whiff. And how has he got back from the airport so quickly?

How Katie even contemplate entertaining him after Airport Day is just a mystery. Or should I say how can Katie even contemplate entertaining him at all? I mean not only is she pretty but she is lovely and kind too. All the exact opposite of Dave the Head Rep. He is the most hardy cockroach alive.

Ahhh, silence, thank the Lord for that, they must have some sensibility after all. I don't have the mental capacity to even contemplate listening to the dizzy heights of their amour, and especially at this hour. I'm in desperate need of sleep and have got that wretched Welcome Meeting at 10am. Every single week it's the same thing, "I'm Emma, blah, blah, blah. Welcome to Corfu, blah, blah, blah. It's hot here, blah, blah, blah." When Dave the Head Rep suggested I take over his meetings too I swear I nearly nutted him; and I am not a lady who condones violence.

'God yeah!' The deep bellows of a male voice startle me from my near slumber. The bastard. Not again. Dave the fucking Head Rep fucking Katie yet again. Doesn't he give a shiny shite about anything other than his bell end? Apparently not, because if he did then he would let me sleep and that way I might be more willingly compliant with his precious Customer Service Charter.

It's coming, I know it is. Just don't listen Emma, put you head under the pillow and think of fluffy clouds and bunny rabbits, anything to avoid listening to the breathing, Katie's heavy gasps seeping under my doorway and wisping around me like the mist of Dracula mixed with garlic. How can she do that? And with him?! That's it, I'm going to tell them to stop. It's not fair; it's three in the morning and I live here too, so they need to shut the fuck up. Gosh my language really has deteriorated since I took this job and started associating with these riff raff. But they've driven me to it, so that's exactly what I am going to do if I just knock on the door like any normal person would. I'm about to do it, one, two, three...

'Yes baby, that's so good baby.' Pant, pant, pant. Eww, I have been loitering outside this door undecided for too long now. They really are bastards. The pair of them.

Without thinking I grabbed the hairbrush from the counter and lobbed it at Katie's bedroom door.

'What is your problem?' Ugh, Dave the Head Rep was standing naked in the doorway, with only his hands covering his private parts.

'Do you even live here?!'

'Play nice Emma; if you're feeling lonely then Gavin from Sidari is desperate for a shag, I can set you up if you want and that way you can stop bothering me.' Gross. Like I would ever go out with someone called Gavin, and especially not someone called Gavin who lives and works in Sidari. I think that Dave must forget that unlike Katie I have standards and aren't eager to freely jump in to bed with some perma-tanned pink t-shirt wearing dimwitted holiday rep from Manchester. Eww.