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"God no," I mumbled as I heard my phone go off at 9 in the morning on a Saturday. "Why does this person hate me."
"Nik," my energy spiked when I heard jeffs voice. "I know it's early, but I was wondering if you could come by."
He didn't sound okay.
"Is everything alright?"
"I had a memory." My heart started beating fast. " you were there."
"Uhhh." I wanted to say I was busy. I didn't want to know if it was a memory of our relationship. "Okay, I can be there in an hour?"
"That's great."
I tried not to freak, but I could not help it.
"Why do you look so pale?" My brothers' voice caught me off guard.
"Jeff had a memory about me, and he wants to talk about it."
"That's great!" He hugged me. I didn't want him to worry, so I hugged him back.
"Yeah," I smiled even though I wanted to cry. "It's great."
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"Hey," Jeff opened the door with a slight smile. "Thanks for coming"
"Yeah, of course" I sent him a smile. "So-"
"Why didn't you tell me" he cut me off.
"I-I. Ummm, Jeff. " I stumbled over my words. " I wanted to. I wanted to tell you everything, but the doctor said they needed to come back on your own"
"I know, Nik. I'm not mad, just upset." He pulled me to sit on the couch with him.
" could you tell me what the memory was?"
"It wasn't a full memory, but it was from the night of the accident. You had a black jean jacket on, and I remember you crying over me, begging me to just stay with you."
"I remember"
"Why didn't you tell me you were at least there that night."
" I'm sorry, Jeff. I know this has been difficult on you, and I didn't want it to seem like I was making it about me."
"I understand." He placed his hand on my knee, making my heart skip. "But I'm sorry also. It must have been hard seeing that."
FLASHBACK.
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"Has anybody seen Jeff?" I asked around the loud party as I stumbled from place to place.
"He went on a beer run," someone informed me. I sighed, knowing he hadn't been drinking.
"Thank you," I mumbled and walked to the front door. I didn't feel so well.
"Where are you going?" Jess asked as I passed her by.
"Home" I shoved my drink in her hands. "Tell Jeff I walked home."
I finally made it outside, and the fresh air smacked me in the face making me feel somewhat better.
"I should have waited," I said out loud, seeing as I was walking for five minutes and my feet hurt from my shoes.
"Oh my god," I heard someone scream, followed by a loud crash. I could see the impact just a little way up, so I rushed over.
" Nikki," someone called out for me, but I couldn't focus on that. Jeff's car was smashed, and I could see him bleeding from the front.
"Call 911 now!!!" I yelled while rushing over to him. "Jeff!" I yelled. Someone must have gotten to him because he was now lying on the ground. "No" I placed my hands on his cheeks.
It was like time slowed down, and all I could think about what how I couldn't lose him.
"Baby, 911 is on the way." I cried harder. "I need you to stay with me. I love you."
The night was a blur. All I could think about was the fact that I should have been with him.
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" don't be sorry" tears formed in my eyes, but I couldn't let them fall. "Umm, is there anything else you wanted to talk about?"
"Actually, yeah," he let out a huge sigh. " I had this dream that felt so real, and I probably would have just thought it was a dream, but now I'm not so sure."
"Why?"
" Because it was about us. We were at this party, and we were laying out under the stars."
"Oh," my voice cracked. I knew exactly what he was talking about, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to admit it.
" I promised you forever" he slowly stood up and walked to the other side of the room. " see, I remember you saying when you first started tutoring me that we were barely friends."
"Yeah"
" So, my barely friend. Why did I promise you forever? And why were you there that night, crying and begging me to stay?"
"Jeff," I didn't know what to say.
" I deserve the truth."
"You want the truth? Fine. You promised me forever because you were my boyfriend. I was crying and begging you to stay because the thought of losing the man I love physically makes me sick!"
" you love me?"
"I. I can't. I gotta go" I ran out. I couldn't have this conversation. I wanted this to happen for a long time, but I can't lose him again.
