LIES ||FINAL||

• My Father, a Peace Offering!? •

Valkyrie opens the front door, revealing Dad! He is as restrained as anyone could be almost reminding me of when I first met Thor in the quinjet, he was sitting in the middle of the apartment with a dozen chains around him. "Suprise." He spoke, I sighed Thor picked up an empty bottle and tossed it at Dad and he muttered a small "ow" before it bounced off him.

"Just had to be sure." I suppress my chuckle as we stepped in to the apartment.

"Hello, Bruce." He spoke, I immediately glared at him and held my hand out the chains on him slightly tightening.

"You serious?" I muttered annoyed at him as he slightly smirked adjusting himself with the tighter chains.

"So, last time I saw you, you were trying to kill everybody. Where are you at these days?"

"It varies from moment to moment." Valkyrie's apartment is a shithole. Bottles everywhere, blood-spattered clothes in the corner, a knife in the wall, etc. Bruce gives Thor and I a look of "she might be crazy" I gave the "bro" gesture to let him know she's cool, but he got confused and thought I was trying to tell him I either hooked up with her or am telling him to call her. I face palmed and gave up. Valkyrie lays something on the bed. Unwraps it to reveal an old Asgardian Sword. Thor's eyes go wide as she sharpens it, the sword was so beautiful my eyes stuck on it.

"Is that... a Dragonfang?"

"It is."

"My God. This is the famed sword of the Valkyrie."

"Dude, I would apologize to you if I got stabbed with that thing. It would be an absolute honour." I spoke as Thor patted my back interrupting my intense sword staring antics.

"Sakaar and Asgard are about as far apart as any two known systems. Our best bet is a wormhole just outside the city limits." A nice clean wormhole out the city, would make sense. "Refuel on Xandar and be back in Asgard in around 18 months." I frowned.

"Nope. We're going through that one." Thor points at the nightmare tornado wormhole over the ocean.

"Now that definitely looks like a party." I spoke looking at the the wormhole that looked like it would tear us apart.

"The Devil's Anus?" I immediately turned to Valkyrie as the odd name for the wormhole.

"Wait, whose anus are we going through?" Bruce spoke standing confused in the not so big apartment.

"For the record, I didn't know it was called that when I picked it."

"That looks like a collapsing neutron star inside of an Einstein-Rosen Bridge."

"We need another ship.   That would tear mine to pieces." I frowned, we could steal one, but from where would have good enough ones for the job?

"She's right. We need one that can withstand the geodetic strain from the singularity." I spoke.

"And has an offline power steering system that could also function without the on-board computer." Bruce added as we shared a look.

"And we need one with cup holders, because we're gonna die. So, drinks!" Valkyrie piped in.

"Amen!" I spoke as Dad gave me a death glare as I stuck my tongue out.

"Do I know you? I feel like I know you." Bruce asked Valkyrie, my eyes widened realizing if Bruce had remembered Hulk's memories.

"I feel like I know you, too. It's weird." She remarked, before going to do something in her apartment.

"What do you say, niece, doctor? Uncharted metagalactic travel through a volatile cosmic gateway. Talk about an adventure." Thor spoke giving both Bruce and I high fives as Valkyrie stared blankly at us from afar.

"So we are going to need a ship." I spoke, as they nodded.

"There are one or two ships, absolute top-of-the-line models--"

"I don't mean to impose, but the Grandmaster has a great amount of ships. I may have stolen the access codes to his security system." All eyes turn to Dad. Valkyrie throws her bottle at him. It smashes above his head.

"And suddenly you're overcome with an urge to do the right thing."

"Heavens, no. I've run out of favour with the Grandmaster." He smirked, he kept his eyes on me as he saw me stretch out my hand ready to tighten those restraints if using the wrong words. "And in exchange for codes and access to a ship I'm asking for safe passage...  through the anus." I dropped my hand and coughed into it to stifle a laugh.

"You're telling us you can get us access into the garage without setting off any alarms?"

"Yes, brother. I can."

"Okay, can I just...   A quick FYI, I was just talking to him just a couple minutes ago and he was totally ready to kill any of us."

"He did try to kill me." I shrugged.

"I mean you get kind of used to it, and like the apple doesn't fall to far from the tree now does it?" I smirked almost perfectly mimicking my dad's. "I mean he did also try to kill me before finding out I was his kid... ish?"

"Yes, me too. On many, many occasions. There was one time when we were children, he transformed himself into a snake, and he knows that I love snakes. So, I went to pick up the snake to admire it and he transformed back into himself and he was like, "Yeah, it's me!" And he stabbed me. We were eight at the time." Dad suppresses a smile.

"If we're boosting a ship, we're gonna need to draw some guards away from the palace."

"What about a revolution?" I spoke sitting in thought, Thor smiled. "You thinking what I'm thinking Uncle?" And we nodded knowing what was going to happen.

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