A New Life

Chapter 9-Protective

Over the next week, everything went surprisingly well. Nothing scary happened and Kendall always took care of me. He also worried a lot, but he didn’t have to because I was finally getting over my fears. No one unfamiliar made any attempts to touch me since the last incident, and I realized that Kendall must have told them not to. I was still very uncomfortable with touch except for with Kendall, but I was finally getting better at sitting near the other guys and even hugging them once in a while. I also have become more comfortable with unfamiliar people; I am no longer terrified when I encounter someone new. At the concerts, it’s been pretty crazy since Kendall released that video introducing me. Now whenever I am watching the concert or walking around the venue, girls always come up to me asking for pictures. It doesn’t bother me as much as it used to and for the most part they are all teenage girls so I am okay posing for pictures with them. Kendall always worries and doesn’t like me walking around by myself, but I like to explore and find fun things to do in every new city we go to since I never really got a chance to see the world before and everything is so new and different I just want to take it all in.

Although it’s only been two weeks since I met James, Carlos, Logan, Dustin and the rest of their band, they all treat me like a little sister and whenever I am around them I find myself laughing non-stop. I spend a lot of time waiting around for Kendall and the other boys to do interviews, soundcheck, and their concerts, but I don’t mind. One of my favorite things to do while the guys are busy is playing with Fox and Sydney. James and Carlos let me walk them around the venue and I love playing with them and running around. I have finally stopped being difficult about eating and I truly think that the tour life is for me. It’s always fun and new.

The boys had just finished their concert in Virginia and it was amazing. I watched the entire thing and loved every minute of it. It was truly amazing and surreal to know that one of those for boys on stage having girls scream his name is my brother, and the other three might as well be. Even though I wasn’t there for the hard times before they “made it” even though they still don’t like to say that they arrived, and I don’t want this to be the peak either, just looking around at all the people who are here to watch them perform is amazing. It’s crazy to see how far he’s come in his career and what a little hard work and determination can get you.

After the concert, I headed backstage to wait for the boys to be ready to get back on the bus. Once they were ready, I headed onto our bus with Logan and Kendall while telling them how amazing they did. Once on the bus we hung out for a while until we were ready to go, I was tired, but I didn’t want to go to sleep. Kendall had to basically force me into bed. I just couldn’t believe how crazy everything was. I was travelling around on a bus watching my big brother sell out arenas with his three best friends. Everything was suddenly hitting me and it all made me so happy.

The next morning, we had to get up bright and early for a radio interview and acoustic performance at the station. Groggily we all loaded into the waiting SUV and headed to the station. Once we got in there, they did soundcheck and made sure everything was working properly. After soundcheck, I was waiting backstage with the boys, but I decided that I wanted Starbucks and luckily I saw it in the building over when we were driving in. I stood up to walk out in search of my Starbucks, but Kendall stopped his conversation with Logan and asked me where I was going. “Just to Starbucks,” I replied.

“You can’t go by yourself,” he stated.

“Yes, I can, I am perfectly capable of walking to the next building, ordering a coffee, and coming back.”

“You can’t get a coffee, it will stunt your growth and I don’t want you going by yourself.”

“Stop telling me what I can and can’t do.” I was beginning to get irritated. I had woken up early and was not in the mood for listening to Kendall boss me around, even though he legally could.

“Just listen to me.” He was also beginning to get irritated.

“No, I am not going to listen to you. Stop treating me like a baby. I can take care of myself.”

“Just take Ranel with you, and get decaf.” He stated, done arguing with me.

“Ugh!” I stormed out of the room and headed to the bathroom quickly to calm down. Once I exited, Ranel was standing right outside the door. I just walked past him, but he followed. Right, because Kendall told him to walk me to Starbucks, he might as well just hold my hand too. Ugh I was even more irritated than before and my attempt to calm down in the bathroom completely failed once I saw Ranel waiting for me. I briskly walked to Starbucks, Ranel trailing slightly behind. Once it was my turn to order, I ordered a caramel macchiato, but Ranel broke in saying, “Decaf.” I rolled my eyes, even more irritated than before, and saw the cashier look at me funny before writing on the clear plastic cup. After receiving my drink, I walked right back into the radio building and into the main room instead of the dressing room. I sat in one of the chairs in the very back the furthest away from the little platform that held five stools and four microphones. There was no way I would walk back into the dressing room after being this angry at Kendall. I stayed seated in the very last row while sipping my DECAF caramel macchiato and scrolling through tumblr on my iPhone. Yes, I did have a tumblr. I created it just after I got my iPhone. I needed something to do during all of the hours that I had nothing to do but wait for my brother to finish whatever he had to do. However now, I was just angrily reblogging anything that remotely expressed my feelings.

I didn’t understand why Kendall insisted on trying to control every little aspect of my life. I wish he understood that I am old enough to take care of myself and make my own decisions. I survived a lot before he came into my life and I don’t need to be constantly watched twenty-four-seven. These thoughts just ran through my head and it didn’t end up making me feel any better or less mad. If anything I just felt like I was right and he was outrageously wrong. I did not plan to talk to him for a while, that’s how angry I was. It wasn’t just this one incident, he was always trying to tell me what I can and can’t do. I should probably be okay with that since he did so much for me and he was technically my legal guardian, however I just didn’t like being controlled, now that I know how amazing life like this truly is, I want to make my own decisions because for the first time, I can.

I stayed seated until right before they let all the fans in. At that time I was forced to go backstage or get mobbed. It was a tough decision, but finally I headed back to the dressing room. As soon as I entered, Kendall said, “Hey Jes where have you been all that time? Is that decaf?”

I just rolled my eyes and answered with as little words as possible, “Outside, yes.” He nodded taking the hint and started talking to the other guys some more and preparing for their acoustic performance. I plopped down on the couch next to Carlos and far away from Kendall. Soon enough they had to go do the performance and I was left alone in the dressing room, which made me happy.

For the next few hours I said as little to Kendall as I possibly could and he knew I was angry at him, but he didn’t try to get me to speak to him. I guess he figured that when I was ready, I would talk. Well, I’m not ready.

Right before soundcheck I was walking out just to get some fresh air and see what the venue looked like from the other side of the fence. Once I left the secured area, I had to walk along the side of the building before reaching the stage and front. Everywhere was pretty deserted, but I liked the peace. After walking about ten steps out of the gated area, I thought I heard some noise behind me, but when I turned around I didn’t see anything, so I continued walking. Suddenly I felt one strong arm going around my abdomen firmly and the other over my mouth so I couldn’t scream, I tried, but whoever he was, he just squeezed my stomach with his other hand and I could barely breathe. I kicked but to no avail. Suddenly, I felt his breath on my ear and the heard whispered words, “I missed you.” I knew that voice, he was no stranger.