A New Life

Chapter 5-Invisible

When we reached the front I pulled her up next to me while still holding her hand and could tell she was nervous by the way she leaned into me. The four of them were seated basically as far away from us as they could get and I was glad that they cared enough to think it through and sit there. “Guys, this is Jessie, my little sister,” there came a chorus of waves and “hi Jessie.” She shyly waved back and stepped closer to me if that was even possible. “Jessie this is Dustin or dbelt, Carlos, Logan, and James,” I introduced while pointing to each of them.

Carlos spoke up first, “So Jessie, what kind of music do you like to listen to?”

She looked down at the floor for a second before saying very quietly, “Um, I don’t really know, I didn’t really have much access to music, besides hearing people in school talk.” She continued to stare at the ground and I saw Carlos sneak the other guys a panicked look since he had nothing to say to that.

James jumped in, “That’s okay, we’ll make sure you hear all the best music, it will be awesome!” At this Jessie looked up and managed a small smile. We all talked trying to keep the conversation light for a while but I could tell that Jessie still wasn’t very comfortable with them because she hadn’t let go of my hand or moved from my side. Eventually an assistant came on the bus with a bunch of small posters for us to sign that they would be giving away. As soon as she entered Jessie’s grip on my hand tightened and it reminded me just how scared of people she really was. Once she left, it forced me to go to the table the boys were sitting at, in turn dragging Jessie along with me.

As soon as we reached the table Jessie gasped audibly and I quickly turned to see what was wrong. She was staring at the poster which had “Big Time Rush” in large letters sprawled across the top and all four us posing beneath it. Before I had time to say anything, she whispered, “You guys are—your band it’s Big Time Rush?”

“Yeah,” I said confused as I could see tears roll down her face. It all happened so fast. “What’s wrong babygirl?” I asked as I pulled her in for a hug in attempt to comfort her. The boys were as confused as I was and they didn’t know how to react. I held her tight and swayed back and forth for a few seconds; the only sounds she would make would be the sniffling sound that came when she breathed through her nose. She didn’t sob at all and she never sobbed at the airport, it was always silent tears. Finally I let go of her and backed up so I could finally see what was wrong. I wiped away her tears and asked again, “What’s wrong babygirl, please tell me.”

The boys were still right there but none of them made a sound. Finally she looked at me, drew a shaky breath and said, “Your music,” I was confused now, I thought she didn’t listen to music. “I only know a little because it’s what I remember that these girls from school would play on their iPhones, but when it was really bad I would play it over and over in my head or I would sing it to myself.” She wasn’t breathing as hard but the tears still were flowing.

I didn’t know what to think or say, but Carlos did, “What song?” he asked softly, caringly.

“I—I don’t know,” She said turning around to face him, her back now toward me, “I just remember it went like ‘But I won’t let you fall, I’ll see you through them all’.”

Since that was Carlos’ line, he began singing that exact line and we all joined in for the chorus that came after. We sang the rest of the song, which wasn’t much, and I wrapped my arms around her hoping that it would make her feel safe. She was smiling through her tears now, “Thank you,” she whispered looking at each of them in awe and then looking at me with a smile on her face.

Since she was no longer holding on to me at all, I took the opportunity to start signing the stack of posters. The other boys began to sign also, and she just continued to stand really close to me like she was still afraid them.