A New Life

Chapter 17-Be Alright

My body hurt all over, I couldn’t move, and I had no control. His fist came into contact with my body over and over and there was nothing I could do. His booming voice bounced off the walls and just made him scarier. I didn’t even have the strength to scream. Everything hurt too much. I tried to fight back but the pain just increased. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I struggled to breathe. Suddenly the pain began to disappear and everything faded out. My eyes blinked open to reveal the bright lights of the hospital room and a nurse shaking me to wake me up. I instantly shrank away from her touch and the tears continued flowing. She noticed that I didn’t like her touching me and she backed away. She was talking to me but I didn’t want her near me, I only wanted one person: Kendall. “Stop,” I whispered, tears still rolling down my cheeks, “Pl-please just g-go away.” She said something else before quickly exiting the room. The dream was so real, so vivid. I felt the pain. I couldn’t stop crying.

            I leaned over the side of the bed to grab my phone. With the tears pouring out of my eyes, I quickly dialed Kendall’s number not caring that it was the middle of the night. After four rings, he finally picked up. Groggily, he said, “Hello?”

            “K-Kendall!” I sobbed into the phone.

            “Jessie? What’s wrong?” He asked alarmed, but still sounding groggy.

            “It-it was,” I could barely talk with my uncontrolled sobbing. “so-so real.”

            “Jes, babygirl, what happened? What was so real?” He asked sounding even more awake and concerned.

            “My dr-dream. I n-need you-you.” I choked out between sobs. I didn’t hear him say anything for a little while, “I m-miss you.” I stated.

            “I miss you too.” Came his soothing voice through my phone. “I’m so sorry, babygirl, I wish I could be there, but we only have two more days and then you will be released from the hospital, okay. The dream wasn’t real, I won’t let anyone hurt you.” I nodded my head even though he couldn’t hear me. I then wrapped my arms around myself in an effort to bring comfort although it didn’t work. I just quietly sobbed. I wanted nothing more than Kendall’s comforting arms wrapped around me and him whispering in my ear that he’s right there and everything will be okay. But he wasn’t here. And everything wasn’t okay. The dream was so real; I couldn’t get it out of my head. I couldn’t forget it. It scared me and I didn’t like being alone, but I also didn’t like any of the nurses or doctors near me. The next few days were sure going to be long.

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            “I won’t let anyone hurt you,” I repeated, more for myself than for her. When she called me, I was asleep in my bunk on the bus. I was so tired and out of it since the phone had just woke me up, but as soon as I heard her sob I was awake and my brain started going crazy. All these questions came to mind, but from what I gathered she just had a bad dream. It crushed me that I wasn’t there right now. I wasn’t there to hold her and be there for her. She needs me and I’m not there. I can’t be there no matter how much I want to. I just want to grab a backpack and a change of clothes and hop on a plane to North Carolina. I know that I can’t though. The boys were worried I would, they kept repeating, “Just three days Kendall.” To make sure I realized that it was not that long and she would be fine without me. But I don’t think she’s fine. She needs me and I’m not there and I hate myself for that. I love my job, don’t get me wrong. I love singing and performing for the fans. I like to make people happy, but one of the most important people in my life is not happy right now and I’m not there to change that. No matter how much I wish I could, I can’t.