Darkness carved in bone

Chapter 25

Helen

Helen pondered on the whole bathing experience on their trek down back to the inn. She blocked out the cold weather and her surroundings as she kept thinking about Ten's words and actions. His warm breath had caught on her exposed and bare skin when he had told her that he wanted something to happen between them, setting her on fire. Her muscles had frozen at his words, but her insides had been a blazing fire that could not be dozed down again. It had become strangely difficult to breathe when he had whispered his alluring words into her ear, and her body started to mimic that reaction now at just the mere memory of what had just occurred. Her hands grew clammy and she began fidgeting with her wet hair as she walked on the slippery fresh layer of snow that now cowered the path.

In the moments where she had been able to see Ten and not let her experiences with Sam steal her concentration and focus, she had felt light and energized, as if there was nothing in this world that could ever bring her down or stop her. When his eyes gazed at her, she had felt like the most beautiful and wonderful person in the world. It was as if his eyes saw sides of her that she didn't even know existed.

It had never been like that with Sam. With him she had felt like she had had to hide who she truly was, to hide the sides of herself that she actually liked, but gradually became ashamed of.

The memory of the rushing river flashed before her eyes, reminding her of the desperation she had felt after the betrothal had become announced. When she now compared how Ten made her feel, and what she had felt like when she had been with Sam, she wasn't that shocked by her own determination to kill herself, instead of staying with Sam. She had known it, as clear as a bright winter day, that she would not have been able to live a life with him. She would have withered away into a grey lump of ash over the years. When sickness or old age would have taken her, it would have been a blessing to finally be relieved from that life.

She cast a glance at Ten who was walking a step behind her. His eyes were cast down, looking at the path ahead. Her chest tightened and a lump formed in her throat as she looked at him. The life that she had been willing to give up not so long ago had drastically changed, and she would now fight with everything she got to stay alive and live her life the way she wanted to live it.

As they reached the inn, Helen made sure not to play the role that Ten disliked, and instead she gave him a shy smile through bashful eyes.

Thankfully, Ten gave her a smile in reply with no traces of uncertainty or unease.

They entered their room again, without meeting Melanie or anyone else for that matter, to Helen's great relief. Helen sat down on the side of the bed and used one of the towels dry her hair.

Helen noticed that Ten stared a bit skeptically at the clothes on the bed.

"What's wrong, have you never seen a Bunad before?" She asked, referring to the traditional clothes they wore on solstice and other special occasion.

His jaw tightened as he looked at the clothes one more time before looking at her with an uncomfortable look in his eyes, "I have heard about them, but never seen one before." He looked at the clothes again before looking at her again, now with a hint of humor in his eyes. "We kind of make jokes about you, or the Sòlung as you wear what we call stupid costumes." He made an apologetic smile and shrugged his shoulders at her.

Helen furrowed her brows, as a slight feeling of hurt came over her. They were proud of their Bunads. The craftsmanship that lay in those garments was impressive and they were not to be made fun off. The colors and design varied from every village, her own was green and blue with patterns of gold, to symbolize the green forest and the wild river that made Ejfjordswerf into what it was. And the gold an homage to the sun.